I've recently installed Google Analytics on my blog so I can spy on everyone who visits, but so far it's produced no data. This leads me to the only conclusion possible - that nobody is actually reading my blog. That's okay, I'll still keep typing away to myself.
I'm waiting for my brother to return from Yangshuo. He's been in China almost two weeks now. He was up in BJ for a couple days and was down here for a week before I told him he should probably leave and see another bit of China. It's easy to get wrapped up in the eating/drinking/lazy life of Shanghai for a week or, hmmmm 6 months or so.
Anyway, if he's smarter than me he won't return. I've only received one text message from him since he got there, "This place is like Chinese Amsterdam." I'm not so sure I'd call it an Amsterdam. It's a much smaller town, and the electronic music scene is nowhere close to what is produced in The Netherlands.
I've discovered what pisses me off about places that are normally hot or warm getting cold. This happened in Sydney as well. Like, it's definitely cold right now, but it has none of the usual cold indicators. For example, I can't see my breath. Since I grew up in a place where we had to scrape ice off our car windows and wake up early to shovel snow so we could get to school on time (I actually never woke up early, I opted on being late and blaming the snow instead), I feel like I really shouldn't complain. But I'm still damn cold. Of course, I'm not wearing a sweater or anything heavy right now, so I guess I can't really complain, but Shanghai should be warm.
Okay, I'm just killing time online now. I would go watch a DVD, but I've seen every DVD made by man, and even some that aren't supposed to be made. Actually, most of them were never supposed to be made. Thanks to ridiculously cheap, pirated DVDs, I've had access to an array of shows. Even the deaf/mute couple at the end of the ally were burning DVDs and VCDs while I sat there. I don't even like movies. I'm not restricted to just movies though. I've also seen every television show made in the past 5 years. The TV shows are actually more dangerous. Because it doesn't take up just an hour of your time. You sit down to watch one, and twelve hours later you're still watching the first series.
Whatever, I'll figure out something to do.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
my home sweet home
Just some highlights from the Economist article The Meaning of America.
...Every year since 1986, near Millsboro, the Punkin Chunkin has been held. Last week, 100 teams vied to see whose machine could toss an 8-10lb (3.6-4.6kg) pumpkin farthest. There were various categories: air cannons, trebuchets, pedal-powered doohickeys. No explosives are allowed—a galling rule to some contestants. But the biggest air cannons, with barrels up to 150 feet (46 metres) long, can shoot their fruit projectiles most of a mile, making each one what one spectator called “one heck of a peashooter”.
Need one spell out that virtually all the competitors are male? ....
It is not just that men like shooting things. Many of them also like fiddling with big gadgets. And the Punkin Chunkin shows what can be achieved when hundreds of mechanically adept minds focus on one utterly pointless objective...
After each pumpkin lands, eager men on quad bikes zoom around looking for the crater and then start triangulating.
All in all, Punkin Chunkin is a symbol of what makes America great. Only in the richest country on earth could regular guys spend tens of thousands of dollars building a pumpkin gun. Only in a nation with such a fine tradition of inventiveness, not to mention martial prowess, would so many choose to. And only in a land of wide open spaces would they be able to practise their chunkin without killing their neighbours. Alas, the 285-acre cornfield where Punkin Chunkin has been held for the past 20 years is soon to be sold and developed. But the chunkers will probably move to Maryland.
...Every year since 1986, near Millsboro, the Punkin Chunkin has been held. Last week, 100 teams vied to see whose machine could toss an 8-10lb (3.6-4.6kg) pumpkin farthest. There were various categories: air cannons, trebuchets, pedal-powered doohickeys. No explosives are allowed—a galling rule to some contestants. But the biggest air cannons, with barrels up to 150 feet (46 metres) long, can shoot their fruit projectiles most of a mile, making each one what one spectator called “one heck of a peashooter”.
Need one spell out that virtually all the competitors are male? ....
It is not just that men like shooting things. Many of them also like fiddling with big gadgets. And the Punkin Chunkin shows what can be achieved when hundreds of mechanically adept minds focus on one utterly pointless objective...
After each pumpkin lands, eager men on quad bikes zoom around looking for the crater and then start triangulating.
All in all, Punkin Chunkin is a symbol of what makes America great. Only in the richest country on earth could regular guys spend tens of thousands of dollars building a pumpkin gun. Only in a nation with such a fine tradition of inventiveness, not to mention martial prowess, would so many choose to. And only in a land of wide open spaces would they be able to practise their chunkin without killing their neighbours. Alas, the 285-acre cornfield where Punkin Chunkin has been held for the past 20 years is soon to be sold and developed. But the chunkers will probably move to Maryland.
grinning idiot
It's getting cold in Shanghai now. I actually have to wear my coat when I go outside. I would say it came out of nowhere, but I guess it is the middle of November.
For some reason there are printing/photo shops every five feet in China. Probably just as an excuse to cut down trees but I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, I needed some passport photos for various reasons so I had to stop in one today.
I figured I'd just go out to one on the main street where I catch my bus, but as I was walking to the Kodak store I saw a little red sign in Chinese advertising passport photos. The main street where I catch my bus is lined with name brand clothing, cosmetic, and other retail stores. Across the street from the first Sephora in China a sign was propped up against a little ally way about as wide as a door.
I figured it had to be cheaper than the Kodak store so I started walking down this narrow, otherwise unmarked ally. About 50 feet in it came to a 'T' with just another small written sign and an arrow pointing to the right. I took a right and continued to walk in behind the storage rooms of the stores on the main street to a door that had another arrow. I walked up a couple flights of wooden stairs that were falling apart and had cracks on the walls.
Now, since I've grown up watching scary movies and the news, part me was on guard and expecting to be robbed, raped, and/or murdered at the end of this journey. Fortunately, at the top of the stairs was just a small 10'x10' room with three computers, numerous different types of hardware, a copy machine, and a blank wall for passport photos.
Out popped a small Chinese couple sucking on popsicles. Like most Chinese when they see a foreigner, they started grunting and pointing. I told them in Chinese that they could speak Chinese to me, but then they pointed to their ears indicating they were deaf. I only felt like an asshole for about 5 seconds.
Not only were they deaf and mute, but after trying to negotiate a price with them over a piece of written paper I learned they were nearly blind too. And I thought I was going to be drugged and murdered.
Anyway, somehow they managed to take my picture straight and print it out okay. They wouldn't let me smile in the picture so I look like a serial killer. Every time I'd try to sneak in a grin last minute, they'd indicate I'd ruined the picture and take another one. Since I don't really sleep because of noise, light, and the fear of never waking up, I think I have permanent bags under my eyes so the 'America's Most Wanted' look really shows.
So anyway, there's my Shanghai 'charm' for the week. Take it whatever way you want.
Also, a month from today I leave China...
For some reason there are printing/photo shops every five feet in China. Probably just as an excuse to cut down trees but I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, I needed some passport photos for various reasons so I had to stop in one today.
I figured I'd just go out to one on the main street where I catch my bus, but as I was walking to the Kodak store I saw a little red sign in Chinese advertising passport photos. The main street where I catch my bus is lined with name brand clothing, cosmetic, and other retail stores. Across the street from the first Sephora in China a sign was propped up against a little ally way about as wide as a door.
I figured it had to be cheaper than the Kodak store so I started walking down this narrow, otherwise unmarked ally. About 50 feet in it came to a 'T' with just another small written sign and an arrow pointing to the right. I took a right and continued to walk in behind the storage rooms of the stores on the main street to a door that had another arrow. I walked up a couple flights of wooden stairs that were falling apart and had cracks on the walls.
Now, since I've grown up watching scary movies and the news, part me was on guard and expecting to be robbed, raped, and/or murdered at the end of this journey. Fortunately, at the top of the stairs was just a small 10'x10' room with three computers, numerous different types of hardware, a copy machine, and a blank wall for passport photos.
Out popped a small Chinese couple sucking on popsicles. Like most Chinese when they see a foreigner, they started grunting and pointing. I told them in Chinese that they could speak Chinese to me, but then they pointed to their ears indicating they were deaf. I only felt like an asshole for about 5 seconds.
Not only were they deaf and mute, but after trying to negotiate a price with them over a piece of written paper I learned they were nearly blind too. And I thought I was going to be drugged and murdered.
Anyway, somehow they managed to take my picture straight and print it out okay. They wouldn't let me smile in the picture so I look like a serial killer. Every time I'd try to sneak in a grin last minute, they'd indicate I'd ruined the picture and take another one. Since I don't really sleep because of noise, light, and the fear of never waking up, I think I have permanent bags under my eyes so the 'America's Most Wanted' look really shows.
So anyway, there's my Shanghai 'charm' for the week. Take it whatever way you want.
Also, a month from today I leave China...
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Monday, November 07, 2005
giant balls
I just finished reading an article about the problems an overseas Chinese woman from Singapore who had returned to live in Shanghai as an expat was facing.
"I always thought I was Chinese.. until we moved to China."
Also, in a sad moment for animal activists, tobacco companies, and the circle of life in general, Ai Ai, a chimpanzee in a Shaanxi province zoo, has finally been able to quit smoking after 16 years. Where else but China could you get a nicotine-addicted chimps? Life's such a bitch here that even the animals have resorted to chain smoking.
Some tennis master's cup is taking place or has taken place in Shanghai. I don't care about sports at all, so I don't know. Anyway, as a result there are enormous yellow tennis balls all around the city. I'm not kidding. I think they're trying to be artistic. They've even dug up ground around them to make it look like they were hit hard enough to be planted into the ground. There are also a lot of tennis ball balloons floating around. I'll try to get a picture but my camera has been slightly fucked since its existence.
The Chinese like to ask what sports I play.
Badmitton?
No.
Tennis?
No.
Table tennis?
No. Basketball is ok, mostly I just run though.
Only running?
Yes, I don't like team sports.
They never understand that.
"I always thought I was Chinese.. until we moved to China."
Also, in a sad moment for animal activists, tobacco companies, and the circle of life in general, Ai Ai, a chimpanzee in a Shaanxi province zoo, has finally been able to quit smoking after 16 years. Where else but China could you get a nicotine-addicted chimps? Life's such a bitch here that even the animals have resorted to chain smoking.
Some tennis master's cup is taking place or has taken place in Shanghai. I don't care about sports at all, so I don't know. Anyway, as a result there are enormous yellow tennis balls all around the city. I'm not kidding. I think they're trying to be artistic. They've even dug up ground around them to make it look like they were hit hard enough to be planted into the ground. There are also a lot of tennis ball balloons floating around. I'll try to get a picture but my camera has been slightly fucked since its existence.
The Chinese like to ask what sports I play.
Badmitton?
No.
Tennis?
No.
Table tennis?
No. Basketball is ok, mostly I just run though.
Only running?
Yes, I don't like team sports.
They never understand that.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
who's hungry
I came across some disturbing material the other day that isn't Chinese.
Man allegedly fantasised about eating girls
I told a friend about the article and further introduced me to the entire 'feeding on femmes fetish.' Which was actually pretty disturbing that he knew so much about it. I googled it for a bit and became increasingly disturbed and swore of googling fetishes ever again. I did come across a kind of funny parody site that was set up as a response to how woman are portrayed as meat in the media. Sort of a literal demonstration.
So anyway, if you ever think you're fucked up and a bit weird, just think of the people who are getting off on the prospect of eating you. Unless you are one of those people. Then you're probably just screwed, and I'm never ordering food with you again.
There's no real China news. I needed a haircut this weekend and I wanted a massage, and fortunately, a Chinese haircut combines both. It's sort of a cheap way to relax, or would be if they hairdressers didn't insist on speaking to me the entire time. My very skinny 'stylist' had long curly hair and a pubic-hair moustache. His pinky fingernail was about two inches long. He didn't use clips to hold up my hair but had 3 assistants around him that would hold it up for him. But he did an okay job, so I'm happy.
I've got some family coming into Shanghai tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.
Man allegedly fantasised about eating girls
I told a friend about the article and further introduced me to the entire 'feeding on femmes fetish.' Which was actually pretty disturbing that he knew so much about it. I googled it for a bit and became increasingly disturbed and swore of googling fetishes ever again. I did come across a kind of funny parody site that was set up as a response to how woman are portrayed as meat in the media. Sort of a literal demonstration.
So anyway, if you ever think you're fucked up and a bit weird, just think of the people who are getting off on the prospect of eating you. Unless you are one of those people. Then you're probably just screwed, and I'm never ordering food with you again.
There's no real China news. I needed a haircut this weekend and I wanted a massage, and fortunately, a Chinese haircut combines both. It's sort of a cheap way to relax, or would be if they hairdressers didn't insist on speaking to me the entire time. My very skinny 'stylist' had long curly hair and a pubic-hair moustache. His pinky fingernail was about two inches long. He didn't use clips to hold up my hair but had 3 assistants around him that would hold it up for him. But he did an okay job, so I'm happy.
I've got some family coming into Shanghai tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
the end of the rope
I have the day off today so I'm at home right now. We ran out of water so I had to order some more and wait until he gets here. This is the equivalent of waiting for the cable guy in the US. I may be here all day.
It's not that we're posh and we feel the need to drink only from a water cooler, but the tap water here is undrinkable, so everyone has a water cooler. We could boil our own water - which I did in Lin'an - but that just sucks. So anyway, I'm stuck here waiting for the water boy. Who is actually probably going to be a 40 year old man with 50 jugs of water strapped to his bicycles.
Anyway, since I have so much time on my hands, I've decided to design some merchandise for MSGFX:
These are US$21,US$25, and US$23 respectfully. If you order in bulk I can give you a cheaper price. I'm not sure how they turn out because I can't afford one.
Here are the graphics, I can also put these on stickers, underwear, hats, sweatshirts, etc. Let me know if you're interested:
This is the basic logo on a powerbook and safari.
These characters mean 'small handed robot'.
The left side down means 'small handed robot'. The four across is an idiom that means 'people everywhere', literally 'man mountain, man sea'. The four down is another idiom meaning 'At the end of one's rope/resources'. The two on the right are the characters for Shanghai.
These can also be viewed on my flickr site MSG Merchandise Set.
I accept pay pal if you're interested. Please email me with any enquiries.
It's not that we're posh and we feel the need to drink only from a water cooler, but the tap water here is undrinkable, so everyone has a water cooler. We could boil our own water - which I did in Lin'an - but that just sucks. So anyway, I'm stuck here waiting for the water boy. Who is actually probably going to be a 40 year old man with 50 jugs of water strapped to his bicycles.
Anyway, since I have so much time on my hands, I've decided to design some merchandise for MSGFX:
These are US$21,US$25, and US$23 respectfully. If you order in bulk I can give you a cheaper price. I'm not sure how they turn out because I can't afford one.
Here are the graphics, I can also put these on stickers, underwear, hats, sweatshirts, etc. Let me know if you're interested:
This is the basic logo on a powerbook and safari.
These characters mean 'small handed robot'.
The left side down means 'small handed robot'. The four across is an idiom that means 'people everywhere', literally 'man mountain, man sea'. The four down is another idiom meaning 'At the end of one's rope/resources'. The two on the right are the characters for Shanghai.
These can also be viewed on my flickr site MSG Merchandise Set.
I accept pay pal if you're interested. Please email me with any enquiries.
in a valley
I've been having a pretty shitty China day. Meaning that earlier today I was swearing of everything Chinese. The language, the people, the food, the culture, the entire country.
This started with a simple task of getting a new monthly time card for one of my teaching jobs. I arrived at the building and asked the secretary. She then called three other people over who made a phone call. The person was on the phone. So I waited for about 10 minutes. Finally she came out. I asked her. She told me I should have asked the receptionist. Who did she think called her?
Anyway, the entire time I was looking at the time cards which were in the box labeled 'timecards'. I wanted to just take one, but it has to be stamped with a red chop and apparently the Chinese are the only people that can do this.
I turned to leave but couldn't walk out the door for another 5 minutes because some workmen were removing the door from its frame for some reason.
I've developed a patience for events like this, but today I couldn't stand it. For the rest of the day I just walked around getting more and more pissed off every time someone bumped into me or cut me off or something and dreaming of the day I'll leave here and how I'm never going to return or speak of China again. Sadly, this is probably not the case at all.
So I decided to stay in this evening and take it easy. I went down to my local convenience store and bought a Coke. The courtyard inside my apartment complex is usually quiet and has few people at night, and since it was a nice night I decided to sit for a bit and sip my drink.
Some guy came and sat on a bench swing across from me. He talked on his phone for a little bit and once he was off we were both silent for about 2 minutes.
"Hello?"
(Every time I Chinese person says this I ignore it. We weren't facing each other, he was just about 20 feet to my left.)
"Kiss me?"
"Fuck off."
"Hello lady, can you give me a kiss?"
(I get up at this point and start walking to my building.)
"I'd like a kiss."
"Fuck you. Do you know that English?"
"Oh. Okay."
God damn this place.
This started with a simple task of getting a new monthly time card for one of my teaching jobs. I arrived at the building and asked the secretary. She then called three other people over who made a phone call. The person was on the phone. So I waited for about 10 minutes. Finally she came out. I asked her. She told me I should have asked the receptionist. Who did she think called her?
Anyway, the entire time I was looking at the time cards which were in the box labeled 'timecards'. I wanted to just take one, but it has to be stamped with a red chop and apparently the Chinese are the only people that can do this.
I turned to leave but couldn't walk out the door for another 5 minutes because some workmen were removing the door from its frame for some reason.
I've developed a patience for events like this, but today I couldn't stand it. For the rest of the day I just walked around getting more and more pissed off every time someone bumped into me or cut me off or something and dreaming of the day I'll leave here and how I'm never going to return or speak of China again. Sadly, this is probably not the case at all.
So I decided to stay in this evening and take it easy. I went down to my local convenience store and bought a Coke. The courtyard inside my apartment complex is usually quiet and has few people at night, and since it was a nice night I decided to sit for a bit and sip my drink.
Some guy came and sat on a bench swing across from me. He talked on his phone for a little bit and once he was off we were both silent for about 2 minutes.
"Hello?"
(Every time I Chinese person says this I ignore it. We weren't facing each other, he was just about 20 feet to my left.)
"Kiss me?"
"Fuck off."
"Hello lady, can you give me a kiss?"
(I get up at this point and start walking to my building.)
"I'd like a kiss."
"Fuck you. Do you know that English?"
"Oh. Okay."
God damn this place.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
port bou
I'd like to be able to say that my entire life was planned during an acid trip in Port Bou, Spain but that's simply not true.
I had about a half an hour to kill before I had to catch my bus to work the other day. I wanted to just sit somewhere in read. But I can't do that on the street because people will shout at me, gather around me, spit at feet, and try to run me over with their bicycles. And I can't do it in a Chinese restaurant because people will shout at me, gather around me, spit at feet, and try to run me over with their bicycles. So I went to Starbucks that was nearby.
Anyway, as I was putting sugar into my tea I remembered that we'd run out of sugar at my house. So shamelessly I started scooping all the little sugar packets on the table into my bag. I figure this is one of those 20-something moments that ranks right up there with drinking a bloody mary as a vitamin supplement and determining if your clothes are wearable by smelling them.
This is different from college in that it's not that I can't afford to buy sugar, or breakfast, or laundry detergent (well maybe I can't afford breakfast sometimes but that's only because I need the bloody mary), but I'm simply too lazy to do so. I know I'll forget if I'm ever in a store and I'll never go out and buy it independently. It's not that I don't have the time, I think I wasted 3 hours today folding my post-it notes into a boingy paper thing, I just simply won't do it.
Actually I don't really have an excuse for the laundry thing since I have an ayi that comes twice a week and does it for me. If I remember to put it in the laundry bin, which I normally don't. It's just pure laziness. I have no one to blame but myself.
So I know my blog is pretty boring, but this one is just disturbing. I kind of laughed when I read the headline too. I don't think it's funny any more.
Anyway, I think I failed to mention that a Chinese guy saved my life the other day. I was walking down the street and there was a dump truck. A bunch of Chinese people started walking by it so I figured it was safe. Just as I was about to step out one of the sides swung down and some Chinese guy threw himself at me to prevent me from walking forward.
Of course, I should be happy that my life was saved but actually the entire incident annoyed me. Like, why the hell was the dump truck taking up the sidewalk. And when the guy threw himself at me he was screaming 'Hello! Hello!' the entire time. Which I find annoying at all times. And afterwards he stopped to laugh at me with all his friends. Actually if you had some kind of fucking rules and regulations regarding street safety and traffic in this supposed communist metropolis I wouldn't have been in danger in the first place. I should be laughing at you.
Anyway, I don't really feel indebted. As I believe I mentioned before, something threatens my life every time I walk out onto the street here.
I had about a half an hour to kill before I had to catch my bus to work the other day. I wanted to just sit somewhere in read. But I can't do that on the street because people will shout at me, gather around me, spit at feet, and try to run me over with their bicycles. And I can't do it in a Chinese restaurant because people will shout at me, gather around me, spit at feet, and try to run me over with their bicycles. So I went to Starbucks that was nearby.
Anyway, as I was putting sugar into my tea I remembered that we'd run out of sugar at my house. So shamelessly I started scooping all the little sugar packets on the table into my bag. I figure this is one of those 20-something moments that ranks right up there with drinking a bloody mary as a vitamin supplement and determining if your clothes are wearable by smelling them.
This is different from college in that it's not that I can't afford to buy sugar, or breakfast, or laundry detergent (well maybe I can't afford breakfast sometimes but that's only because I need the bloody mary), but I'm simply too lazy to do so. I know I'll forget if I'm ever in a store and I'll never go out and buy it independently. It's not that I don't have the time, I think I wasted 3 hours today folding my post-it notes into a boingy paper thing, I just simply won't do it.
Actually I don't really have an excuse for the laundry thing since I have an ayi that comes twice a week and does it for me. If I remember to put it in the laundry bin, which I normally don't. It's just pure laziness. I have no one to blame but myself.
So I know my blog is pretty boring, but this one is just disturbing. I kind of laughed when I read the headline too. I don't think it's funny any more.
Anyway, I think I failed to mention that a Chinese guy saved my life the other day. I was walking down the street and there was a dump truck. A bunch of Chinese people started walking by it so I figured it was safe. Just as I was about to step out one of the sides swung down and some Chinese guy threw himself at me to prevent me from walking forward.
Of course, I should be happy that my life was saved but actually the entire incident annoyed me. Like, why the hell was the dump truck taking up the sidewalk. And when the guy threw himself at me he was screaming 'Hello! Hello!' the entire time. Which I find annoying at all times. And afterwards he stopped to laugh at me with all his friends. Actually if you had some kind of fucking rules and regulations regarding street safety and traffic in this supposed communist metropolis I wouldn't have been in danger in the first place. I should be laughing at you.
Anyway, I don't really feel indebted. As I believe I mentioned before, something threatens my life every time I walk out onto the street here.
Monday, October 31, 2005
the sub
If you type the names of two cities into google you can get flight times and prices of flights. Google rules. In other technology news the bible is being released for iPod. Only 'Jesus', 'Moses', and 'Abraham' are now 'Steve Jobs', 'Pixar', and 'Macman'. Hey, I'm impressed I knew that many bible names.
I've been sick for the past 5 days. My 7th cold since I've been in China. Which sucks, because not only did I miss the Nanjing jazz festival, but I also missed the closing party for my favorite bar in Shanghai. It's actually moving location because the neighborhood claims they're too loud. It sucks because they're probably going to sell out in a more popular part of town and they're moving to a bigger space. It was a great bar though. I knew the staff and the house band and most of the regulars. They all knew my drink and that when I first arrive I always sat in the corner looking slightly pissed off and drinking until I'd get drunk enough and then I'd jump up and run around talking to everyone. They're re-opening in December at their new location. I don't know where I'm going to drink for the next month.
There was actually another kind of dive bar in the same area. It's a basement bar with graffiti on the walls and dirty Chinese bands. I've actually only been there once before and I was drunkenly spilling my drink all over myself and catching popcorn in my mouth that was thrown at me from across the bar while a bitter guy from Melbourne called me a pleb. I still resent that comment. He was in the same dirty bar I was. Maybe I'll check it out again later this week.
Anyway, I'm occasionally an on-call teacher. I would refer to myself as a freelance teacher, but that's probably taking a catch phrase to the extreme, so I'll stick with the traditional title of 'substitute teacher'. Anyway, I was called up to take over a class this Saturday and I agreed for a little extra cash despite the fact that I was sick.
It was an easy class, they were just having a halloween party. They were all dressed up in costumes - a couple mummies, some monsters, and some thieves. They were pretty pathetic costumes actually. Anyway, we played a game where you take a spoon and use it to feel one of the other students while blindfolded and guess who it is. This of course turned into a disaster with the kids mostly stabbing each other with the spoon and grabbing and jumping on each other.
After teaching kids for a while I've come to the conclusion that you can tell exactly what kind of adult a child is going to become. I know the ones that are going to be yelling hello at foreigners on the street, the ones that are going to driving directly toward me on their scooters holding down the horn the entire time, and the girls who are going to say nothing inspiring or interesting and just giggle a lot.
I was kind of a loner kid that still managed to fuck around enough to be a class clown. In seventh grade English I had a desk near the door. One class I slowly started backing my desk towards the door and then when the teacher turned to write on the board I opened the door and shuffled my desk completely into the hallway. There was a little window in the door and I sat there waving at my friends from the hallway. The teacher didn't let me back in the classroom. I also pulled the fire alarm a couple times that year and there was an incident with the boy's changing room. Also, I remember one time walking into the teacher's lounge, rubbing my eyes and head mumbling, "I just can't deal with these students any more..." as I headed for the coffee machine. I didn't make it. The teachers intercepted me and made me go back to lunch.
But I digress...
So as we were finishing the class all the students had to get up and describe their costume. The Chinese assistant teacher and I had been given feather masks to wear. She said she was a fairy princess because she wanted to marry a rich man. Thank god I was wearing my mask, because I'm sure my look of disgust was scarier then any of the masks the kids were wearing. I said I was a bird (because of the feathers) and I wanted to fly far, far away.
We finished class after that.
I've been sick for the past 5 days. My 7th cold since I've been in China. Which sucks, because not only did I miss the Nanjing jazz festival, but I also missed the closing party for my favorite bar in Shanghai. It's actually moving location because the neighborhood claims they're too loud. It sucks because they're probably going to sell out in a more popular part of town and they're moving to a bigger space. It was a great bar though. I knew the staff and the house band and most of the regulars. They all knew my drink and that when I first arrive I always sat in the corner looking slightly pissed off and drinking until I'd get drunk enough and then I'd jump up and run around talking to everyone. They're re-opening in December at their new location. I don't know where I'm going to drink for the next month.
There was actually another kind of dive bar in the same area. It's a basement bar with graffiti on the walls and dirty Chinese bands. I've actually only been there once before and I was drunkenly spilling my drink all over myself and catching popcorn in my mouth that was thrown at me from across the bar while a bitter guy from Melbourne called me a pleb. I still resent that comment. He was in the same dirty bar I was. Maybe I'll check it out again later this week.
Anyway, I'm occasionally an on-call teacher. I would refer to myself as a freelance teacher, but that's probably taking a catch phrase to the extreme, so I'll stick with the traditional title of 'substitute teacher'. Anyway, I was called up to take over a class this Saturday and I agreed for a little extra cash despite the fact that I was sick.
It was an easy class, they were just having a halloween party. They were all dressed up in costumes - a couple mummies, some monsters, and some thieves. They were pretty pathetic costumes actually. Anyway, we played a game where you take a spoon and use it to feel one of the other students while blindfolded and guess who it is. This of course turned into a disaster with the kids mostly stabbing each other with the spoon and grabbing and jumping on each other.
After teaching kids for a while I've come to the conclusion that you can tell exactly what kind of adult a child is going to become. I know the ones that are going to be yelling hello at foreigners on the street, the ones that are going to driving directly toward me on their scooters holding down the horn the entire time, and the girls who are going to say nothing inspiring or interesting and just giggle a lot.
I was kind of a loner kid that still managed to fuck around enough to be a class clown. In seventh grade English I had a desk near the door. One class I slowly started backing my desk towards the door and then when the teacher turned to write on the board I opened the door and shuffled my desk completely into the hallway. There was a little window in the door and I sat there waving at my friends from the hallway. The teacher didn't let me back in the classroom. I also pulled the fire alarm a couple times that year and there was an incident with the boy's changing room. Also, I remember one time walking into the teacher's lounge, rubbing my eyes and head mumbling, "I just can't deal with these students any more..." as I headed for the coffee machine. I didn't make it. The teachers intercepted me and made me go back to lunch.
But I digress...
So as we were finishing the class all the students had to get up and describe their costume. The Chinese assistant teacher and I had been given feather masks to wear. She said she was a fairy princess because she wanted to marry a rich man. Thank god I was wearing my mask, because I'm sure my look of disgust was scarier then any of the masks the kids were wearing. I said I was a bird (because of the feathers) and I wanted to fly far, far away.
We finished class after that.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
why doesn't the sun set?
Wow, this takes on a whole new meaning to colonial legacy:
Mr Singh will use the Official Table of Drops, published by the British Home Office in 1913, to calculate the correct length of rope for the hanging.
Mr Singh will use the Official Table of Drops, published by the British Home Office in 1913, to calculate the correct length of rope for the hanging.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
fucking pigs
I'm American, and therefore have an interesting and unusual religious background.
My mother was born in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. This used to be a small town, but with the growth of factory outlet stores, the town has boomed. Anyway, it's generally considered the gateway to the Pennsylvania Dutch, otherwise known as the Amish. I'm not Amish though.
My family, is Mennonite. I was actually shocked to learn they have a webpage and a statement about the war in Iraq, because they're not far from Amish. When I was a kid and we used to visit my grandmother, we'd attend a Sunday service at the Lancaster Mennonite Church. We'd drive through the Amish country side, past the Amish in their horse drawn buggies on the way to church, the fruit and vegetable markets, and all the suggestive Amish town name signs (Ball-In-Hand, Intercourse.) And really, seeing all this in middle America is possibly more shocking than anything you'd come across in China.
Anyway, the service would take place in a simple wooden church. Everyone would wear black or dark gray clothing, except my family members and I who would be robed in God knows what. Anyway, we'd all sit patiently in this simple building watching the big grandfather clock tick until it hit exactly 10am. Nobody would speak while waiting. I think it was okay to, but nobody would. It always confused me as a child why we'd wait for 15 minutes before the service doing nothing. I think I thought I was supposed to be praying or something, but really I was wondering why we couldn't just start because clearly everyone was already there.
I don't remember what the services were about. Something about Jesus I think, but they were long and the seats were uncomfortable for me. Regardless, we have a lot of patch work quilts and simple Christian paraphernalia floating around my house. In between the statue from Thailand of the pigs fucking and the woven baskets from Botswana.
So that's one side of my family.
My father was born in Provo, Utah and raised Mormon. I was not surprised to find the Mormon church had a website. If it didn't register as a non-profit it would be the biggest business in America. Anyway, he mostly broke away from the church but most my family on his side still practices.
I can't really tell you much about Mormons either. They don't have horns, they do have a lot of missionaries, and some of them marry multiple wives, but that's a different sect of Mormonism. And there are no Mormon missionaries in China, probably the only place on earth, and really, it's pretty nice.
Anyway, they do have some interesting beliefs about sex. That was taken straight from their website. Homosexual activity is a serious sin. Lovely people. And I've always enjoyed their cure for masturbation. See, I've always had a problem with number 4 myself. Seeing my reflection in the mirror after I've showered would cause anyone temptation.
I don't mean to specifically pick out the Mormons to pick on, give me any religion, ethnic group, nationality, etc. and I'll find something hilariously wrong with them, but the Mormons are just easy. Actually most of them are very nice people and I have several Mormon friends. Or at least acquaintances.
Anyway, this all has a point, not just a sad look at my genealogy.
So I was out at a bar the other day and I struck up a conversation with a guy:
"Where are you from?"
"Boston, you?" (I always say Boston because it's easier, sometimes I mix it up.)
"D.C."
"Oh, where in D.C?"
"Well, I went to Georgetown..."
"Oh, so you're not really from D.C., that's okay, I'm not really from Boston, where are you from?"
"Philadelphia."
"Oh do you know Lancaster?"
"Yeah, actually I live right near Lancaster."(So he wasn't really from Philly either)
"My family's from Lancaster. But I'm actually from Salt Lake."
"No way, I'm Mormon!"
"Are you really?"
"Yeah."
"Well my family's Mennonite."
"No way."
"I swear to God, but my dad was Mormon."
"No way."
"Seriously. I'm not Mormon though, are you really Mormon?"
"Yeah, I really am, I went to seminary and everything."
"Still?"
(holds up his glass of beer)"Well not really. So how weird is this, in a seedy bar in Shanghai, China, two people from Lancaster and connected to Mormons meet."
"And, we both lie about where we're from!"
"Haha, yeah."
"That's fucked up. We probably shouldn't talk to each other any more."
"Agreed."
(We both walk away from each other.)
So, it's a small world after all.
My mother was born in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. This used to be a small town, but with the growth of factory outlet stores, the town has boomed. Anyway, it's generally considered the gateway to the Pennsylvania Dutch, otherwise known as the Amish. I'm not Amish though.
My family, is Mennonite. I was actually shocked to learn they have a webpage and a statement about the war in Iraq, because they're not far from Amish. When I was a kid and we used to visit my grandmother, we'd attend a Sunday service at the Lancaster Mennonite Church. We'd drive through the Amish country side, past the Amish in their horse drawn buggies on the way to church, the fruit and vegetable markets, and all the suggestive Amish town name signs (Ball-In-Hand, Intercourse.) And really, seeing all this in middle America is possibly more shocking than anything you'd come across in China.
Anyway, the service would take place in a simple wooden church. Everyone would wear black or dark gray clothing, except my family members and I who would be robed in God knows what. Anyway, we'd all sit patiently in this simple building watching the big grandfather clock tick until it hit exactly 10am. Nobody would speak while waiting. I think it was okay to, but nobody would. It always confused me as a child why we'd wait for 15 minutes before the service doing nothing. I think I thought I was supposed to be praying or something, but really I was wondering why we couldn't just start because clearly everyone was already there.
I don't remember what the services were about. Something about Jesus I think, but they were long and the seats were uncomfortable for me. Regardless, we have a lot of patch work quilts and simple Christian paraphernalia floating around my house. In between the statue from Thailand of the pigs fucking and the woven baskets from Botswana.
So that's one side of my family.
My father was born in Provo, Utah and raised Mormon. I was not surprised to find the Mormon church had a website. If it didn't register as a non-profit it would be the biggest business in America. Anyway, he mostly broke away from the church but most my family on his side still practices.
I can't really tell you much about Mormons either. They don't have horns, they do have a lot of missionaries, and some of them marry multiple wives, but that's a different sect of Mormonism. And there are no Mormon missionaries in China, probably the only place on earth, and really, it's pretty nice.
Anyway, they do have some interesting beliefs about sex. That was taken straight from their website. Homosexual activity is a serious sin. Lovely people. And I've always enjoyed their cure for masturbation. See, I've always had a problem with number 4 myself. Seeing my reflection in the mirror after I've showered would cause anyone temptation.
I don't mean to specifically pick out the Mormons to pick on, give me any religion, ethnic group, nationality, etc. and I'll find something hilariously wrong with them, but the Mormons are just easy. Actually most of them are very nice people and I have several Mormon friends. Or at least acquaintances.
Anyway, this all has a point, not just a sad look at my genealogy.
So I was out at a bar the other day and I struck up a conversation with a guy:
"Where are you from?"
"Boston, you?" (I always say Boston because it's easier, sometimes I mix it up.)
"D.C."
"Oh, where in D.C?"
"Well, I went to Georgetown..."
"Oh, so you're not really from D.C., that's okay, I'm not really from Boston, where are you from?"
"Philadelphia."
"Oh do you know Lancaster?"
"Yeah, actually I live right near Lancaster."(So he wasn't really from Philly either)
"My family's from Lancaster. But I'm actually from Salt Lake."
"No way, I'm Mormon!"
"Are you really?"
"Yeah."
"Well my family's Mennonite."
"No way."
"I swear to God, but my dad was Mormon."
"No way."
"Seriously. I'm not Mormon though, are you really Mormon?"
"Yeah, I really am, I went to seminary and everything."
"Still?"
(holds up his glass of beer)"Well not really. So how weird is this, in a seedy bar in Shanghai, China, two people from Lancaster and connected to Mormons meet."
"And, we both lie about where we're from!"
"Haha, yeah."
"That's fucked up. We probably shouldn't talk to each other any more."
"Agreed."
(We both walk away from each other.)
So, it's a small world after all.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
2x2x2
For those of you who have never been to China, I should point out that everything is wrapped in plastic. Worse than an old woman's living room. Everything. Like if you buy oranges for example. Each individual orange is wrapped in a little plastic baggy, then put in another plastic bag, and finally put in two more plastic bags for you to carry home. So everything I've eaten for the past 10 months, has spent a considerable amount of time in plastic:
China bans harmful plastic wrappers
My perma-headache becomes less and less of a mystery.
Not much else is going on in the China. Just the usual stampedes and bird flu outbreaks.
My ayi is in the next room folding my clothing into 2inch x 2inch x 2inch squares. Even my jeans. It fits conveniently in my drawers.
I'm off to work.
China bans harmful plastic wrappers
My perma-headache becomes less and less of a mystery.
Not much else is going on in the China. Just the usual stampedes and bird flu outbreaks.
My ayi is in the next room folding my clothing into 2inch x 2inch x 2inch squares. Even my jeans. It fits conveniently in my drawers.
I'm off to work.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Wa ha ha
Halloween is just around the corner, and today I received the scariest ad yet:
Get Ready for Halloween at Carrefour!
There you go. A French company promoting an American holiday in a country where Christianity is a fashion statement, all your ghosts are ancestors, and the people wearing costumes are the most educated and respected artists and scholars.
And really, I think the last thing this country needs is people running around biting each other and choking on their fake plastic vampire teeth. Which are most likely toxic anyway. And probably made in China.
But hey, I can get socks for 1 kuai!
Get Ready for Halloween at Carrefour!
There you go. A French company promoting an American holiday in a country where Christianity is a fashion statement, all your ghosts are ancestors, and the people wearing costumes are the most educated and respected artists and scholars.
And really, I think the last thing this country needs is people running around biting each other and choking on their fake plastic vampire teeth. Which are most likely toxic anyway. And probably made in China.
But hey, I can get socks for 1 kuai!
China Arrest
My god, they're not going to let me leave:
China will shut down borders if struck by bird flu
I'm going to start swimming if this is the case.
China will shut down borders if struck by bird flu
I'm going to start swimming if this is the case.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
$100,000 Holiday
This is amazing:
China to launch space tourist
At only $100,000 they're going to be popping people up there every two days. Until something goes terribly wrong on the second mission.
Clearly I'm still at work.
I also just finished reading this article on 'America is more of an idea than a country'. I like it. I'd rather be a citizen of an idea than a country.
I think the whole idea of a country is pretty lame and, quite frankly, a little juvenile. It's like splitting up teams and cliques in school. This person belongs to that group, and that group hates this groups, and it's really difficult to change groups. Fuck that. I don't need to be in a group or a team, I'm going to go play on the monkey bars.
Also, I kind of resent the whole concept that I have to be part of a country. The UN should create a wanderers passport. You're not part of anywhere, you can go and work wherever you please, pay taxes in the country you live in at the time. It would be great. People ask you where you're from and you say, "I've go the wanderers," and there's no further resentments and only a stereotype of an unstable commitmentphobe. I could live with that.
Only 29 more minutes until lunch.
China to launch space tourist
At only $100,000 they're going to be popping people up there every two days. Until something goes terribly wrong on the second mission.
Clearly I'm still at work.
I also just finished reading this article on 'America is more of an idea than a country'. I like it. I'd rather be a citizen of an idea than a country.
I think the whole idea of a country is pretty lame and, quite frankly, a little juvenile. It's like splitting up teams and cliques in school. This person belongs to that group, and that group hates this groups, and it's really difficult to change groups. Fuck that. I don't need to be in a group or a team, I'm going to go play on the monkey bars.
Also, I kind of resent the whole concept that I have to be part of a country. The UN should create a wanderers passport. You're not part of anywhere, you can go and work wherever you please, pay taxes in the country you live in at the time. It would be great. People ask you where you're from and you say, "I've go the wanderers," and there's no further resentments and only a stereotype of an unstable commitmentphobe. I could live with that.
Only 29 more minutes until lunch.
8 Continents, 5 Oceans
I'm not sure if you all remember the Pearl Orient Tower:
For the past week the top big ball has had a map of the world rotating around on the light display at night. Except they've added an extra continent. It's in between Asia and America. It's all red and sometimes turns to purple. It's not the shape of China, more like an altered Asia. I'm not sure what they're trying to get at.
Ebay is selling Chinese babies now. For that authentic Chinese flavor...
Also the health minister in China put out a 'serious warning' for the bird flu, so I may be dead in a week. If the Chinese government says there may be a problem, half the country is probably already infected.
I haven't done any work at all today. I may not come in next week. I just don't think I can work like this. Not now at least.
The UN can't handle the earthquake relief. Apparently the tsunami and the hurricane has topped our capacity to deal with natural disasters for this year. And we handled both of those so well.
I'm not sure what I'm up to this weekend. Probably another exhibit opening on Sunday. I'm feeling very lazy though.
For the past week the top big ball has had a map of the world rotating around on the light display at night. Except they've added an extra continent. It's in between Asia and America. It's all red and sometimes turns to purple. It's not the shape of China, more like an altered Asia. I'm not sure what they're trying to get at.
Ebay is selling Chinese babies now. For that authentic Chinese flavor...
Also the health minister in China put out a 'serious warning' for the bird flu, so I may be dead in a week. If the Chinese government says there may be a problem, half the country is probably already infected.
I haven't done any work at all today. I may not come in next week. I just don't think I can work like this. Not now at least.
The UN can't handle the earthquake relief. Apparently the tsunami and the hurricane has topped our capacity to deal with natural disasters for this year. And we handled both of those so well.
I'm not sure what I'm up to this weekend. Probably another exhibit opening on Sunday. I'm feeling very lazy though.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
i wouldn't say i've been missing it...
So anyway, I'm at work right now. I've spent the past couple hours reading the news, the Onion, and 'Rants and Raves' off craigslist and I'm pretty much bored. I've made a couple phone calls, sent out a couple emails, but there's nothing going on. I'd rather be in a giant rat suit in a large cage with a bunch of mouse scientists poking various drugs into me. Nice.
The girls outside my office have been talking about the different types of English all day. I'm tired of listening in. Oh right, I have my own corner office, complete with a door and a window. I'm tempted to just walk in one morning, close my door, draw my blinds and either a) go back to sleep or b)get drunk and listen to music. It's not that spectacular though. I think it's actually just a converted utility room.
Anyway, I work near Nanjing Road which is the biggest tourist street in Shanghai. It's supposed to be pedestrian, but there's still some little tourist train car that rides up and down it. The road is always crowded and full of people trying to sell you watches, candy, remote control cars, corn, art, and everything else. For these reasons, I try to avoid going to Nanjing Lu as much as possible. But now I work here, so I can't. I did find a shop that sells little tuna fish sandwich pouches. Not too bad for 30 cents.
I am just trying to kill time here you realize? I may be blogging a lot more now that I'm working.
Anyway, hopefully I'm going to Nanjing next weekend for the Jazz festival. It should be good. I've only been to Nanjing once before and it was rainy and depressing. But I did go to the Rape of Nanking memorial. That is really depressing. Those Japanese really fucked this place up.
Oh also, there's a warning out for more Japanese protests in response to the Japanese PM visiting the was shrine. I don't think they'll pull it together though. But I'd like to see some protests.
The girls outside my office have been talking about the different types of English all day. I'm tired of listening in. Oh right, I have my own corner office, complete with a door and a window. I'm tempted to just walk in one morning, close my door, draw my blinds and either a) go back to sleep or b)get drunk and listen to music. It's not that spectacular though. I think it's actually just a converted utility room.
Anyway, I work near Nanjing Road which is the biggest tourist street in Shanghai. It's supposed to be pedestrian, but there's still some little tourist train car that rides up and down it. The road is always crowded and full of people trying to sell you watches, candy, remote control cars, corn, art, and everything else. For these reasons, I try to avoid going to Nanjing Lu as much as possible. But now I work here, so I can't. I did find a shop that sells little tuna fish sandwich pouches. Not too bad for 30 cents.
I am just trying to kill time here you realize? I may be blogging a lot more now that I'm working.
Anyway, hopefully I'm going to Nanjing next weekend for the Jazz festival. It should be good. I've only been to Nanjing once before and it was rainy and depressing. But I did go to the Rape of Nanking memorial. That is really depressing. Those Japanese really fucked this place up.
Oh also, there's a warning out for more Japanese protests in response to the Japanese PM visiting the was shrine. I don't think they'll pull it together though. But I'd like to see some protests.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
metal rods
As I was going to work yesterday I saw a large crowd of people surrounding an accident. I knew someone had died because of the size of the crowd. I normally just walk by, because I'm not a fan of dead bodies, but since I was up high in my double-decker bus I got the full view.
A guy on a scooter had run into a strip of metal hanging off a three wheel crate in front of him. He had fallen to the side of the road, his arms clenched against his stomach, and his face permanently frozen in an expression of someone who had just been hit fatally in the stomach. His eyes were clenched tightly and his face withered in pain. There was a chalk outline around his body. There was no ambulance and nobody felt the need to cover his corpse. I felt a bit sick for the rest of the day.
Thinking back, I'm not sure how the chalk outline got there. I remember seeing only one police officer in the crowd of about 200 Chinese. Unless pre-determination was trying to prove itself as obviously as possible.
So that's China. How many of you saw a dead guy on the way to work yesterday?
Speaking of work, I have a new job. In an office. I'm still teaching in the evenings, because it makes a lot of money but for some reason I decided to join the working world again. Goodbye to my 10-hour weeks. I don't really remember applying for the job or going in for an interview, but somehow at rush hour this morning I found myself pushing through a billion Shanghainese on the way to work.
I'm already sick of being back in an office. The lighting, the inspirational crap on the walls, the bad gossip - it's all out of a terrible nightmare. The MSG has gone too far.
So anyway, I'd normally drop names but I've heard of a lot of people getting fired for blogging about their work, so I won't. Though I have no problem with being fired, I feel I shouldn't push it, and apparently my blog is no longer blocked in China. But anyway, I'm doing research for an international company. And I'm the supervisor. I don't know how that happened, but somehow I'm supervising a Japanese, a Korean, and a Chinese in completing our research project in the next two months.
God I hate offices. Since I'm supervisor I'm already changing my hours to 4 days a week starting late and leaving early. It's a bullshit project, I'm already half way done and I've only done six hours of work. I've found that with most office environments. The 40-hour workweek is all pomp and circumstance.
So anyway, I'm in the grind. It's exhausting because I do nothing. It's interfering with my 'stare at the wall' time and 'lay in bed' time. I may not last the week.
A guy on a scooter had run into a strip of metal hanging off a three wheel crate in front of him. He had fallen to the side of the road, his arms clenched against his stomach, and his face permanently frozen in an expression of someone who had just been hit fatally in the stomach. His eyes were clenched tightly and his face withered in pain. There was a chalk outline around his body. There was no ambulance and nobody felt the need to cover his corpse. I felt a bit sick for the rest of the day.
Thinking back, I'm not sure how the chalk outline got there. I remember seeing only one police officer in the crowd of about 200 Chinese. Unless pre-determination was trying to prove itself as obviously as possible.
So that's China. How many of you saw a dead guy on the way to work yesterday?
Speaking of work, I have a new job. In an office. I'm still teaching in the evenings, because it makes a lot of money but for some reason I decided to join the working world again. Goodbye to my 10-hour weeks. I don't really remember applying for the job or going in for an interview, but somehow at rush hour this morning I found myself pushing through a billion Shanghainese on the way to work.
I'm already sick of being back in an office. The lighting, the inspirational crap on the walls, the bad gossip - it's all out of a terrible nightmare. The MSG has gone too far.
So anyway, I'd normally drop names but I've heard of a lot of people getting fired for blogging about their work, so I won't. Though I have no problem with being fired, I feel I shouldn't push it, and apparently my blog is no longer blocked in China. But anyway, I'm doing research for an international company. And I'm the supervisor. I don't know how that happened, but somehow I'm supervising a Japanese, a Korean, and a Chinese in completing our research project in the next two months.
God I hate offices. Since I'm supervisor I'm already changing my hours to 4 days a week starting late and leaving early. It's a bullshit project, I'm already half way done and I've only done six hours of work. I've found that with most office environments. The 40-hour workweek is all pomp and circumstance.
So anyway, I'm in the grind. It's exhausting because I do nothing. It's interfering with my 'stare at the wall' time and 'lay in bed' time. I may not last the week.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Chinese Astronauts
I was just watching Chinese TV - which isn't a very enjoyable activity in general - and marveling at how normal I found it to be. For some reason every other station had a program on Chinese opera. The singers were in their traditional costumes, faces fully painted, disco ball rolling, multi-color lighting flashing, and smoke machine in full effect. Very traditional. And one billion people are tuned in. But I didn't find any of that really surprising or funny, just kind of an average occurrence, which was a little disturbing.
I've also found it a bit disturbing this week to know that I've been going to sleep while Chinese people have been floating around in the sky above me. They literally are everywhere now.
Also, it was my birthday on Friday, so I took that to mean I could use all of last week to celebrate. Not too bad. If I felt I needed a reason to drink, that was good enough for me.
I met this French guy last week who was a bit odd. Even for a French. He told me a story about how he'd spent a weekend in a Chinese prison. He deals in textiles and one of his dealers failed to supply him with the product after he had paid for it, so he went around looking for it himself. He eventually found it in a garage in Guangzhou and he and some of his staff broke in. The police came by and arrested him for breaking and entering. Since it was a Friday night, the French consulate was closed until Monday morning. He said the police were very nice to him since he was their first foreigner. He got his own cell and they turned on the air-conditioning when asked. Anyway, the consulate brought their lawyers and settled the matter on Monday and he got his textiles back. He claimed he was so distraught by the entire experience he had to take a three-week vacation to Australia right after. I can sympathize.
So I guess the point is that next time you're bitching about your 40+ hour work week and making fun of the lazy French while secretly envying them, just keep it in mind that their laziness extends to all sectors. I bet the American consulate wouldn't have been closed. Possibly planning some secret covert disaster, but at least open. He did get a three week vacation right after though. Fucking French. If I worked more than 10 hours a week I would totally be spiteful.
Anyway, the good news is that the polar ice caps are melting, thus making water that was impenetrable to oil drillers available. And it appears as though the bird flu is moving west. So since it originated in western China, those of us in eastern China should be the last to get it. Haha suckers.
I've also found it a bit disturbing this week to know that I've been going to sleep while Chinese people have been floating around in the sky above me. They literally are everywhere now.
Also, it was my birthday on Friday, so I took that to mean I could use all of last week to celebrate. Not too bad. If I felt I needed a reason to drink, that was good enough for me.
I met this French guy last week who was a bit odd. Even for a French. He told me a story about how he'd spent a weekend in a Chinese prison. He deals in textiles and one of his dealers failed to supply him with the product after he had paid for it, so he went around looking for it himself. He eventually found it in a garage in Guangzhou and he and some of his staff broke in. The police came by and arrested him for breaking and entering. Since it was a Friday night, the French consulate was closed until Monday morning. He said the police were very nice to him since he was their first foreigner. He got his own cell and they turned on the air-conditioning when asked. Anyway, the consulate brought their lawyers and settled the matter on Monday and he got his textiles back. He claimed he was so distraught by the entire experience he had to take a three-week vacation to Australia right after. I can sympathize.
So I guess the point is that next time you're bitching about your 40+ hour work week and making fun of the lazy French while secretly envying them, just keep it in mind that their laziness extends to all sectors. I bet the American consulate wouldn't have been closed. Possibly planning some secret covert disaster, but at least open. He did get a three week vacation right after though. Fucking French. If I worked more than 10 hours a week I would totally be spiteful.
Anyway, the good news is that the polar ice caps are melting, thus making water that was impenetrable to oil drillers available. And it appears as though the bird flu is moving west. So since it originated in western China, those of us in eastern China should be the last to get it. Haha suckers.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Le ciel lui tombe sur la tête
The new Astrix book has been released. He's always been a bit of a personal hero, despite the fact he's French. And it even looks like he's developing a political agenda.
The creatures are led by a cuddly toy who has at his beck and call an army of dim superman clones in tights and capes.
They announce they are from a planet called TADSYLWINE - an anagram of Walt Disney - and that their "sage" goes by the name of HUBS - an anagram of Bush.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Darkon
Congratulations to a good friend of mine who just finished shooting this film:
Darkon the Movie
Just when you think you've got everyone figured out...
It reminds me of the documentary Trekkies but this one looks more interesting and bizarre.
Darkon the Movie
Just when you think you've got everyone figured out...
It reminds me of the documentary Trekkies but this one looks more interesting and bizarre.
How to enter the DPRK
Plus a letter from your current employer, an updated CV, two passport photos, 1000 Euros (the new dollar apparently)...
Sunday, October 09, 2005
new old handset
I found a new accessory for my cell phone this weekend:
This way I can walk around Shanghai with my actual cell phone in my bag, and just a cute cord and retro phone dangling out. Just so the Chinese are assured we're all insane.
Also, I'm currently trying to arrange a trip to North Korea next weekend. The DPRK government has allowed visas for American tourists for just these two weeks in October for the Mass Games. This is the only time in the past 13 years that Americans have been allowed into the country. I'm dying to go. I'm not trying to be sarcastic or funny either. I'd really love to be one of the few Americans to have visited North Korea. Anyway, I'm sure it will be outrageously expensive and all the visas have been taken, but if you're interested Koryo Tours has a trip. I'm only posting this because I don't think anyone who reads this blog will actually go. But if you do end up going and I don't, well then, I'm fucking pissed.
I had a pretty productive weekend for a bum. I found a really great little second hand bookstore/cafe on Saturday. I've actually known of its existence for a while, but because of it's name - Old China Hand Bookstore - I haven't gone. But it was really pretty great. The best tea I've had in China. Most of the books are in Chinese. I found a Chinese book on the punk bank Black Flag or 黑旗, a Chinese Research Book on Homosexuality, a Chinese book on the fashion markets of London (which I was pleased to learn showcased a belt I had bought on Portobello Road. I'm art!), and a couple bitter expat rants. It was an enjoyable afternoon. I'll definitely be back.
Anyway, that was followed by a exhibition opening for Jin Shan entitled "I am 27 years old." He found a picture book of the 'collective history' of the Chinese and photoshopped himself into various historical scenes over the past 27 years. The captions were the best part. And the gallery it was at (1812 Artspace) is really nice.
Today I went to a couple more galleries and art exhibits. I've been feeling very inspired and creative recently. I most likely won't act on it, but it's getting me out of my apartment. Also, it's cooled down a bit here finally, so I don't mind walking around the city.
So hopefully I'll be off the North Korea in a couple days with my new mobile phone accessory. If not, I'm sure you'll be hearing from me soon.
This way I can walk around Shanghai with my actual cell phone in my bag, and just a cute cord and retro phone dangling out. Just so the Chinese are assured we're all insane.
Also, I'm currently trying to arrange a trip to North Korea next weekend. The DPRK government has allowed visas for American tourists for just these two weeks in October for the Mass Games. This is the only time in the past 13 years that Americans have been allowed into the country. I'm dying to go. I'm not trying to be sarcastic or funny either. I'd really love to be one of the few Americans to have visited North Korea. Anyway, I'm sure it will be outrageously expensive and all the visas have been taken, but if you're interested Koryo Tours has a trip. I'm only posting this because I don't think anyone who reads this blog will actually go. But if you do end up going and I don't, well then, I'm fucking pissed.
I had a pretty productive weekend for a bum. I found a really great little second hand bookstore/cafe on Saturday. I've actually known of its existence for a while, but because of it's name - Old China Hand Bookstore - I haven't gone. But it was really pretty great. The best tea I've had in China. Most of the books are in Chinese. I found a Chinese book on the punk bank Black Flag or 黑旗, a Chinese Research Book on Homosexuality, a Chinese book on the fashion markets of London (which I was pleased to learn showcased a belt I had bought on Portobello Road. I'm art!), and a couple bitter expat rants. It was an enjoyable afternoon. I'll definitely be back.
Anyway, that was followed by a exhibition opening for Jin Shan entitled "I am 27 years old." He found a picture book of the 'collective history' of the Chinese and photoshopped himself into various historical scenes over the past 27 years. The captions were the best part. And the gallery it was at (1812 Artspace) is really nice.
Today I went to a couple more galleries and art exhibits. I've been feeling very inspired and creative recently. I most likely won't act on it, but it's getting me out of my apartment. Also, it's cooled down a bit here finally, so I don't mind walking around the city.
So hopefully I'll be off the North Korea in a couple days with my new mobile phone accessory. If not, I'm sure you'll be hearing from me soon.
Friday, October 07, 2005
chocolate ice-cream
So the Guangxi province was absolutely spectacular. Yangshou, a small town outside of Guilin, is beautiful with lovely people. It's the kind of place that makes me want to drop everything and move there with nothing but a hash pipe and a groovy pair of purple, striped, drawstring pants (note: I don't actually own a pair of purple, striped, drawstring pants, and I never actually use the word 'groovy'). And honestly, I only get that sensation like once or twice a year.
Anyway, there was hiking and biking and nature and interesting rock formations. I got a bit sunburned. At least I finally got my summer color at the beginning of October. It was all very enchanting until I got food poisoning. Leave it up to China to ruin a good time by throwing a curve ball right into my gut. Amazingly, it wasn't from the Chinese food, but from a little bit of chocolate ice-cream I ate. I can't believe it. However, since I had finished some Chinese food a couple hours earlier, I still managed to vomit that up all night as well. I can tell you that Chinese food coming out looks the same as coming in. It's not pleasant. And throwing up rice is probably the worst experience in the world. I kid you not. It was pretty bad. I think I was actually vomiting blood at one point. I realize this is a bad sign, but I'll be damned if I go to a Chinese hospital, especially in the countryside. And I seem to be doing okay now, so I'm not too worried.
So that was my Wednesday night. On Thursday my friends decided they wanted to hire a boat to take us back up the Li River to Guilin. Easy for them to say, since I was the only one who spoke Chinese. So in my slightly hallucinating, definitely delusional state I bargained for a boat. But I couldn't get one that would go the entire way. So we had to take a bus, then a motorbike, then the boat, then another boat, and then two more buses to get to Guilin. Did I mention I was vomiting the entire night before?
Anyway, at some point my delusions changed. I was no longer the master of Chinese who could bargain the best price, but I became a worm, slowly being tortured under the leering and mocking gaze of children with a magnifying glass. This was as we were trudging through the heat of Guangxi to our second boat.
China is supposedly the oldest civilization in the world. Our second boat was just to get us to cross the river. You could ask, "Why didn't our first boat just drop us off on the other side of the bank?", but honestly, you'd never get an answer to that. For thousands of years it hasn't occurred to a single Chinese person that that could be an option. Anyway, regardless of that, the place we had to walk to in order to get the boat to cross the river also wasn't an easy situation. These people have been crossing this river for literally thousands and thousands of years. And now, with the advent of modern technology, it still takes 6 phone calls on cellular phones, two different boats, and five pieces of paper with red chops on them in order to cross a bit of water about 100 feet wide. If I didn't have any bags, I would have swam. Or walked across, the water wasn't deep.
The oldest civilization in the world.
But it is a beautiful area of the world and I highly recommend getting there before they turn it into an amusement park with strip malls, toboggan rides, flash bars, and crap hotels. I'm not kidding you, they will do it.
And for a couple of days I remembered why it is that I spend so much time on China. I still can't put it into words.
Anyway, there was hiking and biking and nature and interesting rock formations. I got a bit sunburned. At least I finally got my summer color at the beginning of October. It was all very enchanting until I got food poisoning. Leave it up to China to ruin a good time by throwing a curve ball right into my gut. Amazingly, it wasn't from the Chinese food, but from a little bit of chocolate ice-cream I ate. I can't believe it. However, since I had finished some Chinese food a couple hours earlier, I still managed to vomit that up all night as well. I can tell you that Chinese food coming out looks the same as coming in. It's not pleasant. And throwing up rice is probably the worst experience in the world. I kid you not. It was pretty bad. I think I was actually vomiting blood at one point. I realize this is a bad sign, but I'll be damned if I go to a Chinese hospital, especially in the countryside. And I seem to be doing okay now, so I'm not too worried.
So that was my Wednesday night. On Thursday my friends decided they wanted to hire a boat to take us back up the Li River to Guilin. Easy for them to say, since I was the only one who spoke Chinese. So in my slightly hallucinating, definitely delusional state I bargained for a boat. But I couldn't get one that would go the entire way. So we had to take a bus, then a motorbike, then the boat, then another boat, and then two more buses to get to Guilin. Did I mention I was vomiting the entire night before?
Anyway, at some point my delusions changed. I was no longer the master of Chinese who could bargain the best price, but I became a worm, slowly being tortured under the leering and mocking gaze of children with a magnifying glass. This was as we were trudging through the heat of Guangxi to our second boat.
China is supposedly the oldest civilization in the world. Our second boat was just to get us to cross the river. You could ask, "Why didn't our first boat just drop us off on the other side of the bank?", but honestly, you'd never get an answer to that. For thousands of years it hasn't occurred to a single Chinese person that that could be an option. Anyway, regardless of that, the place we had to walk to in order to get the boat to cross the river also wasn't an easy situation. These people have been crossing this river for literally thousands and thousands of years. And now, with the advent of modern technology, it still takes 6 phone calls on cellular phones, two different boats, and five pieces of paper with red chops on them in order to cross a bit of water about 100 feet wide. If I didn't have any bags, I would have swam. Or walked across, the water wasn't deep.
The oldest civilization in the world.
But it is a beautiful area of the world and I highly recommend getting there before they turn it into an amusement park with strip malls, toboggan rides, flash bars, and crap hotels. I'm not kidding you, they will do it.
And for a couple of days I remembered why it is that I spend so much time on China. I still can't put it into words.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
my god
I'm back in contact with the internet and news and this is what I have to read:
"God would tell me, 'George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan'. And I did, and then God would tell me, 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq . . .' And I did.
"And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, 'Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East'.
"And by God I'm gonna do it."
My president is delusional and I'm an athiest.
I'll write about the fabulous Guangxi province later.
"God would tell me, 'George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan'. And I did, and then God would tell me, 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq . . .' And I did.
"And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, 'Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East'.
"And by God I'm gonna do it."
My president is delusional and I'm an athiest.
I'll write about the fabulous Guangxi province later.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
october
The other day I was finishing my shower at the gym when a women came by, threw open my shower curtain, asked to borrow my shampoo, and then reached in my toiletries bag and took it. I didn't say a word. I just stood there naked in shock at the blatant violation of my privacy. I wasn't sure if I could just walk over to her shower, throw open the curtain and take it back. So instead I went and changed into my clothes and found her later. These are the kinds of things I have to deal with on a regular basis.
I went snowboarding today. It was a pretty hot Saturday, so my roommate and I decided to hit the slope. That's right, Shanghai has an indoor ski field, imported piece by piece from Japan. It was great. Take the smallest, most pathetic bunny hill you've ever been on, flatten it to a 20 degree angle, and you've got the Shanghai Ski Field. There is a little lift that you can take to the top, but it goes pretty slowly, so we just walked up the side. It really wasn't that strenuous or anything. The snow was complete shit. Run your hand along the inside of your freezer, and you've got the general consistency of the snow. I fell once and now I have a huge scratch down my arm. All the Chinese were decked out in the ski outfits the center provides. These were also imported from Japan and thus have Japanese writing all over them. I wore the pants - black with an orange stripe down the sides - and a t-shirt. I think the t-shirt confirmed the thought in all the Chinese that foreigners are insane. Yes it was 90 degrees outside, but there was snow inside. How can you wear a t-shirt?
You had the option of renting skis or a snowboard. The Chinese were all skiing. Or trying to. They'd go about 3 feet with their legs spreading apart the entire time and then somehow do a face plant. It was hilarious. Watching that would have been all I needed, but I did actually get a couple 'runs' in. The actually had a bit of a snow park. It was a jump and a rail. There were a couple other foreigners there and we ripped it up on the jump. The Chinese were gawking in awe the entire time. It was a pretty fun time. Since it wasn't my board, and it was a piece of shit, I had no problems with running it across bare areas or landing on it oddly. I have no idea where it came from, all it had written on it was 'Made in America'.
Anyway, I'm getting out of Shanghai next week. I'm heading down to Guilin. Hopefully it will be good. It's the national holiday this week, so I don't have to work. 56 years of the People's Republic of China. Wow. In Shanghai people celebrated by buying a bunch of novelty balloons in the shape of hammers and running around hitting each other. The Oriental Pearl Tower also changed its light pattern to red stars. I can feel the patriotism pulsing.
Anyway, hopefully I'll take some pictures in this next week. Guilin is supposed to be incredible. I may also be very annoyed because I'm traveling with 1.6 billion other people. I need to get out of this city though.
I went snowboarding today. It was a pretty hot Saturday, so my roommate and I decided to hit the slope. That's right, Shanghai has an indoor ski field, imported piece by piece from Japan. It was great. Take the smallest, most pathetic bunny hill you've ever been on, flatten it to a 20 degree angle, and you've got the Shanghai Ski Field. There is a little lift that you can take to the top, but it goes pretty slowly, so we just walked up the side. It really wasn't that strenuous or anything. The snow was complete shit. Run your hand along the inside of your freezer, and you've got the general consistency of the snow. I fell once and now I have a huge scratch down my arm. All the Chinese were decked out in the ski outfits the center provides. These were also imported from Japan and thus have Japanese writing all over them. I wore the pants - black with an orange stripe down the sides - and a t-shirt. I think the t-shirt confirmed the thought in all the Chinese that foreigners are insane. Yes it was 90 degrees outside, but there was snow inside. How can you wear a t-shirt?
You had the option of renting skis or a snowboard. The Chinese were all skiing. Or trying to. They'd go about 3 feet with their legs spreading apart the entire time and then somehow do a face plant. It was hilarious. Watching that would have been all I needed, but I did actually get a couple 'runs' in. The actually had a bit of a snow park. It was a jump and a rail. There were a couple other foreigners there and we ripped it up on the jump. The Chinese were gawking in awe the entire time. It was a pretty fun time. Since it wasn't my board, and it was a piece of shit, I had no problems with running it across bare areas or landing on it oddly. I have no idea where it came from, all it had written on it was 'Made in America'.
Anyway, I'm getting out of Shanghai next week. I'm heading down to Guilin. Hopefully it will be good. It's the national holiday this week, so I don't have to work. 56 years of the People's Republic of China. Wow. In Shanghai people celebrated by buying a bunch of novelty balloons in the shape of hammers and running around hitting each other. The Oriental Pearl Tower also changed its light pattern to red stars. I can feel the patriotism pulsing.
Anyway, hopefully I'll take some pictures in this next week. Guilin is supposed to be incredible. I may also be very annoyed because I'm traveling with 1.6 billion other people. I need to get out of this city though.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
123456
If you come to China and open a Chinese bank account, do not get your wallet stolen with you Chinese ATM card inside. This may seem obvious, but I still feel as though I should warn you.
So, as I believe I blogged earlier, I had my wallet stolen. This didn't really concern me because I didn't have that much money in my wallet, and in order to use my ATM card at all you need my pin number. And although I may be jackass, I don't carry my pin number around in my wallet. It's the screensaver on my phone. ha.
So anyway, after going through the millions of papers they gave me when I opened my account, I couldn't find any number to call and report my stolen card. So I decided to go to my bank the following day and cancel it. Once I arrived at my bank I learned that there is only one branch in all of Shanghai that can cancel and reissue a new ATM card. I should point out that when I got my ATM card they just handed it to me across the counter of my branch. It took about 5 seconds. It's not personalized or anything.
Anyway, I didn't have time to go to this one location to cancel it, so I had to wait until the next day. I arrived at the cancellation branch to learn that, for some reason, it closes for an hour in the middle of each day. Around the time I decided to arrive. So I had to go wait out the hour in a nearby park. I got to the branch and stood in an enormous line with the 3000 other people in Shanghai who have had their card stolen. I finally got to the clerk and had to fill out 5 different sets of papers all in Chinese. After going through this and having them talk me through the papers (No, you put your american address there and your Chinese address here - I don't know why they needed my American address, I didn't give it when I opened my account.) Anyway, I didn't even get my new card. I have to go back next week and fill out more paperwork.
After explaining this to my rooommate she pointed out it probably would have been easier for me to open a new account, take out all the money in my old account and put it in the new account. She's right, but I'd rather go through the pain. And if you were wondering, no money had been stolen from my account. I can continue to afford my stripper and champagne lifestyle. I knew the Chinese would never be able to figure out the pin 123456.
I spent all of yesterday in a painful haze of hangover hell. I left the house around 6 to pick up some Chinese food - the only time I find Chinese food to be appropriate. Everyone in the restaraunt and I were choking and coughing on some chemical they were using to clean the windows as I was waiting for them to finish my take-away tofu. I briefly wondered what was floating around the kitchen if this was out with customers. But for a dollar, what do you expect? I took a delivery menu as I left. I don't want to have to think about that stuff.
So, as I believe I blogged earlier, I had my wallet stolen. This didn't really concern me because I didn't have that much money in my wallet, and in order to use my ATM card at all you need my pin number. And although I may be jackass, I don't carry my pin number around in my wallet. It's the screensaver on my phone. ha.
So anyway, after going through the millions of papers they gave me when I opened my account, I couldn't find any number to call and report my stolen card. So I decided to go to my bank the following day and cancel it. Once I arrived at my bank I learned that there is only one branch in all of Shanghai that can cancel and reissue a new ATM card. I should point out that when I got my ATM card they just handed it to me across the counter of my branch. It took about 5 seconds. It's not personalized or anything.
Anyway, I didn't have time to go to this one location to cancel it, so I had to wait until the next day. I arrived at the cancellation branch to learn that, for some reason, it closes for an hour in the middle of each day. Around the time I decided to arrive. So I had to go wait out the hour in a nearby park. I got to the branch and stood in an enormous line with the 3000 other people in Shanghai who have had their card stolen. I finally got to the clerk and had to fill out 5 different sets of papers all in Chinese. After going through this and having them talk me through the papers (No, you put your american address there and your Chinese address here - I don't know why they needed my American address, I didn't give it when I opened my account.) Anyway, I didn't even get my new card. I have to go back next week and fill out more paperwork.
After explaining this to my rooommate she pointed out it probably would have been easier for me to open a new account, take out all the money in my old account and put it in the new account. She's right, but I'd rather go through the pain. And if you were wondering, no money had been stolen from my account. I can continue to afford my stripper and champagne lifestyle. I knew the Chinese would never be able to figure out the pin 123456.
I spent all of yesterday in a painful haze of hangover hell. I left the house around 6 to pick up some Chinese food - the only time I find Chinese food to be appropriate. Everyone in the restaraunt and I were choking and coughing on some chemical they were using to clean the windows as I was waiting for them to finish my take-away tofu. I briefly wondered what was floating around the kitchen if this was out with customers. But for a dollar, what do you expect? I took a delivery menu as I left. I don't want to have to think about that stuff.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
another glass of bubbly please...
I should not be blogging right now, because I've had a little bit of champagne tonight, but I can't help it. I got in to grad school today!!!!!!!! Yay for me! I am going to be in Melbourne, Australia next year, the most liveable city in the world (Seriously, it was actually proven it is.) I am out of this dump of a most unliveable country in the world. Although, Shanghai is the most liveable city in the most unliveable country. I think Baghdad may have scored higher than anywhere in China.
Whatever, the point is, I'm not going to be here next year. But China still managed to give me a 'fuck you' to my accomplishment. My wallet and sunglasses were stolen today. It brought me down a little, but fuck those bastards, You're still going to be in this dump next year. HA fucking HA.
Anyway, if your wallet had been stolen and you had just been accepted into graduate school, what would you do? Here's what I did. I went and saw a bunch of male Australian strippers. Fuck yeah baby. Feb can not come soon enough. It was great. I was even pulled on stage and given a lap dance. I've never had a lap dance before. It was spectacular. I totally see what guys dig in the whole experience. And I came to a conclusion, one that I think every man in the world came to many years ago. I wasn't drinking that much during the stripping, so, i think, if everyone just walked around naked all the time, I believe, that alcoholism would cease to exist. Seriously.
I should point out right now, that most of the foreigners in China aren't that good looking. In fact, I think my standards have dropped by default. Excluding myself of course. Seriously, not to say that everyone else in the world is better looking than Chinese men, because they are, I'm not being specifically racist, I'm saying every asian outside of China is better looking than they are here, but I'm being deprived here. I love strippers.
Anyway, the best part, was after the show, the strippers bought US drinks. It was incredible. They were all from Melbourne, and built like an intricately planned sculptures, in a way that no Chinese man could ever be built. It's all the dumplings. And for a moment, when I was leaving the bar, I decided I loved everything in Shanghai. Especially my stolen wallet and sunglasses. You fucking bastards.
I'm out of here.
Au - fucking - stralia baby!!!!
Whatever, the point is, I'm not going to be here next year. But China still managed to give me a 'fuck you' to my accomplishment. My wallet and sunglasses were stolen today. It brought me down a little, but fuck those bastards, You're still going to be in this dump next year. HA fucking HA.
Anyway, if your wallet had been stolen and you had just been accepted into graduate school, what would you do? Here's what I did. I went and saw a bunch of male Australian strippers. Fuck yeah baby. Feb can not come soon enough. It was great. I was even pulled on stage and given a lap dance. I've never had a lap dance before. It was spectacular. I totally see what guys dig in the whole experience. And I came to a conclusion, one that I think every man in the world came to many years ago. I wasn't drinking that much during the stripping, so, i think, if everyone just walked around naked all the time, I believe, that alcoholism would cease to exist. Seriously.
I should point out right now, that most of the foreigners in China aren't that good looking. In fact, I think my standards have dropped by default. Excluding myself of course. Seriously, not to say that everyone else in the world is better looking than Chinese men, because they are, I'm not being specifically racist, I'm saying every asian outside of China is better looking than they are here, but I'm being deprived here. I love strippers.
Anyway, the best part, was after the show, the strippers bought US drinks. It was incredible. They were all from Melbourne, and built like an intricately planned sculptures, in a way that no Chinese man could ever be built. It's all the dumplings. And for a moment, when I was leaving the bar, I decided I loved everything in Shanghai. Especially my stolen wallet and sunglasses. You fucking bastards.
I'm out of here.
Au - fucking - stralia baby!!!!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Guantánamo Bay For Lease
Christoph Büchel and Gianni Motti are beginning negotiations to rent Guantánamo Bay from the Cuban Government. Space – who claims it and how those claims are enforced – is central to their project.
Find out more at http://www.guantanamo-initiative.com.
In contrast with its current function, the Guantanamo Initiative proposes to transform Guantanamo Bay from a military base into a site dedicated to the promotion of culture. The artists envision the creation of a laboratory that situates culture at the center of contemporary debates. This cultural base would promote exchange and dialogue, thereby reinterpreting the existing military infrastructure.
Support their cause.
Find out more at http://www.guantanamo-initiative.com.
In contrast with its current function, the Guantanamo Initiative proposes to transform Guantanamo Bay from a military base into a site dedicated to the promotion of culture. The artists envision the creation of a laboratory that situates culture at the center of contemporary debates. This cultural base would promote exchange and dialogue, thereby reinterpreting the existing military infrastructure.
Support their cause.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
too much tImE
Sorry, I have a lot of time on my hands to surf through various websites. I came across this forum posting and found it interesting and funny. Especially the last post (well the last one I'm sharing on my site.):
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 04:40 AM
Post subject: What is wrong with us?
I want to share with you guys about an article written by Mr. Cam MacMurchy, a Canadian journalist working in Beijing. See the link
http://cn.news.yahoo.com/050818/1350/2egpg.html
Sorry, it is translated into Chinese. I couldn¡¯t find the English Version. Take this chance to brush your Chinese skill.
In a nutshell, he says he doesn¡¯t understand Chinese motivation or attitude towards love. Based on his experience with Chinese girls, He found out most of Chinese are so craving for love. Chinese girls want the confirmation of love only after a few dates. Most of Chinese girls he knows never talk about their boyfriends. For him, Love is a gradually evolved process. You can¡¯t find love just after a few dates.
I couldn¡¯t agree with Cam MacMurchy more. I have been thinking this question for a while. What is the problem with us, the Chinese girls? Why we so craving for love? Why we don¡¯t know how to love?
For those young Chinese women between 25 and 35, we grew up in a culture that nobody talked about love. Not only the love for relationship, also about the simple love for another human being. We didn¡¯t prepare ourselves to face the harsh reality of relationship. There was no book/nobody guide us go through the turbulence early adulthood. The only thing we were taught in high school was studying to be competitive to get into the college. The only thing we were taught in college was studying to be competitive to get a good job. After we got out of college, some Chinese people pocket started to fill of money. They started to have mistresses. Many of young girls preferred to be somebody¡¯s mistress instead of having a job. Those smart and pretty ones all hitched on Mr. Money. I had the strong desire for the material things just like everyone else, but the first job out of college only paid 800rmb, not enough to buy a decent dress. I didn¡¯t know what to do. I was trapped in a dark tunnel. I felt I need the love to get me out.
Our parents couldn¡¯t help at all. They grew up during the Chairman Mao era. The only one they were allowed to love was Mr. Chairman Mao. If you loved somebody more than Chairman Mao, you were a bad person. My mother told they had to read the little Redbook during their wedding saying that Chairman Mao was her ultimate love. I don't blame them. They screwed up more then we do.
Cam MacMurchy is right. Somehow we just want to be in the mood of feeling love even we don¡¯t know we love or not. After many years struggling, I realized that I need a power to center myself, the power is not the love from somebody else, it is the power which resides inside myself.
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 10:39 AM
Maybe Chinese girls, raised under parents such as you describe, are just too intense. They need to relax, spread their wings, and enjoy the freedom that life now offers them .. instead of having one-track minds about love and marriage. The quickest way to scare off a (western) guy is too expect too much, too soon .. (commitment, that is).
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 11:32 AM
I'm not Chinese, but I can see how it can be a problem. I've dated a Chinese man, and he was so surprised at how a western woman (such as myself:) Can be so expressive. I didn't get it back then why he found it so intriguing, but I'm beginning to understand.
China has come out of thousands of years of trying to build itself up. Maybe there wasn't time for Romantic Love? Perhaps now is the time:) I know you all have those romantic songs on the radio, people are yearning for love and to be loved.
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 04:39 PM
half nonsense and half truth
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 06:37 PM
Gradually people are evolving, like 5 years ago never saw someone hugging in public, now see it all the time so, there's hope
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 11:58 PM
like apes
...and no, I didn't write that last post...
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 04:40 AM
Post subject: What is wrong with us?
I want to share with you guys about an article written by Mr. Cam MacMurchy, a Canadian journalist working in Beijing. See the link
http://cn.news.yahoo.com/050818/1350/2egpg.html
Sorry, it is translated into Chinese. I couldn¡¯t find the English Version. Take this chance to brush your Chinese skill.
In a nutshell, he says he doesn¡¯t understand Chinese motivation or attitude towards love. Based on his experience with Chinese girls, He found out most of Chinese are so craving for love. Chinese girls want the confirmation of love only after a few dates. Most of Chinese girls he knows never talk about their boyfriends. For him, Love is a gradually evolved process. You can¡¯t find love just after a few dates.
I couldn¡¯t agree with Cam MacMurchy more. I have been thinking this question for a while. What is the problem with us, the Chinese girls? Why we so craving for love? Why we don¡¯t know how to love?
For those young Chinese women between 25 and 35, we grew up in a culture that nobody talked about love. Not only the love for relationship, also about the simple love for another human being. We didn¡¯t prepare ourselves to face the harsh reality of relationship. There was no book/nobody guide us go through the turbulence early adulthood. The only thing we were taught in high school was studying to be competitive to get into the college. The only thing we were taught in college was studying to be competitive to get a good job. After we got out of college, some Chinese people pocket started to fill of money. They started to have mistresses. Many of young girls preferred to be somebody¡¯s mistress instead of having a job. Those smart and pretty ones all hitched on Mr. Money. I had the strong desire for the material things just like everyone else, but the first job out of college only paid 800rmb, not enough to buy a decent dress. I didn¡¯t know what to do. I was trapped in a dark tunnel. I felt I need the love to get me out.
Our parents couldn¡¯t help at all. They grew up during the Chairman Mao era. The only one they were allowed to love was Mr. Chairman Mao. If you loved somebody more than Chairman Mao, you were a bad person. My mother told they had to read the little Redbook during their wedding saying that Chairman Mao was her ultimate love. I don't blame them. They screwed up more then we do.
Cam MacMurchy is right. Somehow we just want to be in the mood of feeling love even we don¡¯t know we love or not. After many years struggling, I realized that I need a power to center myself, the power is not the love from somebody else, it is the power which resides inside myself.
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 10:39 AM
Maybe Chinese girls, raised under parents such as you describe, are just too intense. They need to relax, spread their wings, and enjoy the freedom that life now offers them .. instead of having one-track minds about love and marriage. The quickest way to scare off a (western) guy is too expect too much, too soon .. (commitment, that is).
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 11:32 AM
I'm not Chinese, but I can see how it can be a problem. I've dated a Chinese man, and he was so surprised at how a western woman (such as myself:) Can be so expressive. I didn't get it back then why he found it so intriguing, but I'm beginning to understand.
China has come out of thousands of years of trying to build itself up. Maybe there wasn't time for Romantic Love? Perhaps now is the time:) I know you all have those romantic songs on the radio, people are yearning for love and to be loved.
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 04:39 PM
half nonsense and half truth
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 06:37 PM
Gradually people are evolving, like 5 years ago never saw someone hugging in public, now see it all the time so, there's hope
Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 11:58 PM
like apes
...and no, I didn't write that last post...
Sing a Pore
I'm cutting and pasting this entire New York Times article because it's good, and you should read it. Not just ignore some link I put up:
September 14, 2005
Singapore and Katrina
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
Singapore
There is something troublingly self-indulgent and slothful about America today - something that Katrina highlighted and that people who live in countries where the laws of gravity still apply really noticed. It has rattled them - like watching a parent melt down.
That is certainly the sense I got after observing the Katrina debacle from half a world away here in Singapore - a city-state that, if it believes in anything, believes in good governance. It may roll up the sidewalks pretty early here, and it may even fine you if you spit out your gum, but if you had to choose anywhere in Asia you would want to be caught in a typhoon, it would be Singapore. Trust me, the head of Civil Defense here is not simply someone's college roommate.
Indeed, Singapore believes so strongly that you have to get the best-qualified and least-corruptible people you can into senior positions in the government, judiciary and civil service that its pays its prime minister a salary of $1.1 million a year. It pays its cabinet ministers and Supreme Court justices just under $1 million a year, and pays judges and senior civil servants handsomely down the line.
From Singapore's early years, good governance mattered because the ruling party was in a struggle for the people's hearts and minds with the Communists, who were perceived to be both noncorrupt and caring - so the state had to be the same and more.
Even after the Communists faded, Singapore maintained a tradition of good governance because as a country of only four million people with no natural resources, it had to live by its wits. It needed to run its economy and schools in a way that would extract the maximum from each citizen, which is how four million people built reserves of $100 billion.
"In the areas that are critical to our survival, like Defense, Finance and the Ministry of Home Affairs, we look for the best talent," said Kishore Mahbubani, dean of the Lee Kwan Yew School of Public Policy. "You lose New Orleans, and you have 100 other cities just like it. But we're a city-state. We lose Singapore and there is nothing else. ... [So] the standards of discipline are very high. There is a very high degree of accountability in Singapore."
When a subway tunnel under construction collapsed here in April 2004 and four workers were killed, a government inquiry concluded that top executives of the contracting company should be either fined or jailed.
The discipline that the cold war imposed on America, by contrast, seems to have faded. Last year, we cut the National Science Foundation budget, while indulging absurd creationist theories in our schools and passing pork-laden energy and transportation bills in the middle of an energy crisis.
We let the families of the victims of 9/11 redesign our intelligence organizations, and our president and Congress held a midnight session about the health care of one woman, Terri Schiavo, while ignoring the health crisis of 40 million uninsured. Our economy seems to be fueled lately by either suing each other or selling each other houses. Our government launched a war in Iraq without any real plan for the morning after, and it cut taxes in the middle of that war, ensuring that future generations would get the bill.
Speaking of Katrina, Sumiko Tan, a columnist for the Sunday edition of The Straits Times in Singapore, wrote: "We were shocked at what we saw. Death and destruction from natural disaster is par for the course. But the pictures of dead people left uncollected on the streets, armed looters ransacking shops, survivors desperate to be rescued, racial divisions - these were truly out of sync with what we'd imagined the land of the free to be, even if we had encountered homelessness and violence on visits there. ... If America becomes so unglued when bad things happen in its own backyard, how can it fulfill its role as leader of the world?"
Janadas Devan, a Straits Times columnist, tried to explain to his Asian readers how the U.S. is changing. "Today's conservatives," he wrote, "differ in one crucial aspect from yesterday's conservatives: the latter believed in small government, but believed, too, that a country ought to pay for all the government that it needed.
"The former believe in no government, and therefore conclude that there is no need for a country to pay for even the government that it does have. ... [But] it is not only government that doesn't show up when government is starved of resources and leached of all its meaning. Community doesn't show up either, sacrifice doesn't show up, pulling together doesn't show up, 'we're all in this together' doesn't show up."
September 14, 2005
Singapore and Katrina
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
Singapore
There is something troublingly self-indulgent and slothful about America today - something that Katrina highlighted and that people who live in countries where the laws of gravity still apply really noticed. It has rattled them - like watching a parent melt down.
That is certainly the sense I got after observing the Katrina debacle from half a world away here in Singapore - a city-state that, if it believes in anything, believes in good governance. It may roll up the sidewalks pretty early here, and it may even fine you if you spit out your gum, but if you had to choose anywhere in Asia you would want to be caught in a typhoon, it would be Singapore. Trust me, the head of Civil Defense here is not simply someone's college roommate.
Indeed, Singapore believes so strongly that you have to get the best-qualified and least-corruptible people you can into senior positions in the government, judiciary and civil service that its pays its prime minister a salary of $1.1 million a year. It pays its cabinet ministers and Supreme Court justices just under $1 million a year, and pays judges and senior civil servants handsomely down the line.
From Singapore's early years, good governance mattered because the ruling party was in a struggle for the people's hearts and minds with the Communists, who were perceived to be both noncorrupt and caring - so the state had to be the same and more.
Even after the Communists faded, Singapore maintained a tradition of good governance because as a country of only four million people with no natural resources, it had to live by its wits. It needed to run its economy and schools in a way that would extract the maximum from each citizen, which is how four million people built reserves of $100 billion.
"In the areas that are critical to our survival, like Defense, Finance and the Ministry of Home Affairs, we look for the best talent," said Kishore Mahbubani, dean of the Lee Kwan Yew School of Public Policy. "You lose New Orleans, and you have 100 other cities just like it. But we're a city-state. We lose Singapore and there is nothing else. ... [So] the standards of discipline are very high. There is a very high degree of accountability in Singapore."
When a subway tunnel under construction collapsed here in April 2004 and four workers were killed, a government inquiry concluded that top executives of the contracting company should be either fined or jailed.
The discipline that the cold war imposed on America, by contrast, seems to have faded. Last year, we cut the National Science Foundation budget, while indulging absurd creationist theories in our schools and passing pork-laden energy and transportation bills in the middle of an energy crisis.
We let the families of the victims of 9/11 redesign our intelligence organizations, and our president and Congress held a midnight session about the health care of one woman, Terri Schiavo, while ignoring the health crisis of 40 million uninsured. Our economy seems to be fueled lately by either suing each other or selling each other houses. Our government launched a war in Iraq without any real plan for the morning after, and it cut taxes in the middle of that war, ensuring that future generations would get the bill.
Speaking of Katrina, Sumiko Tan, a columnist for the Sunday edition of The Straits Times in Singapore, wrote: "We were shocked at what we saw. Death and destruction from natural disaster is par for the course. But the pictures of dead people left uncollected on the streets, armed looters ransacking shops, survivors desperate to be rescued, racial divisions - these were truly out of sync with what we'd imagined the land of the free to be, even if we had encountered homelessness and violence on visits there. ... If America becomes so unglued when bad things happen in its own backyard, how can it fulfill its role as leader of the world?"
Janadas Devan, a Straits Times columnist, tried to explain to his Asian readers how the U.S. is changing. "Today's conservatives," he wrote, "differ in one crucial aspect from yesterday's conservatives: the latter believed in small government, but believed, too, that a country ought to pay for all the government that it needed.
"The former believe in no government, and therefore conclude that there is no need for a country to pay for even the government that it does have. ... [But] it is not only government that doesn't show up when government is starved of resources and leached of all its meaning. Community doesn't show up either, sacrifice doesn't show up, pulling together doesn't show up, 'we're all in this together' doesn't show up."
Monday, September 12, 2005
围观
So I have a Chinese tutor that comes by a couple times a week and attempts to teach me this God forsaken language. The book I'm studying from is translated to Speak Mandarin, Talk About Culture. I don't know why I've chosen this book to study from. I find Chinese culture a painful topic. Especially in Mandarin.
Anyway, a couple weeks ago we were reading about 管闲事 (guan xian shi) and 围观 (wei guan). 管闲事 translates as 'mind other's business' or 'make everyone's business one's own'. 围观 is to 'surround and watch' or 'encircle'. These are both common activities in China. At first I thought it was just because I was a foreigner that people always surrounded me when I bought food, for instance. However, a number of events have happened that have enlightened me to the fact that the Chinese butt in to every situation. Except maybe some of the important ones.
The other day I was on my bus going to work. I ride the double decker bus. Anyway, a bus in front of us pulled away from the stop and a car behind it ran into it. This was on one of the most crowded streets in Shanghai. The bus was pulled across the two lanes, with only a little space on the right to pull through. Both the bus driver and the car driver got out of their vehicles and started yelling at each other. Between my bus and the bus that had been hit was one other regular decker bus and about three other cars. A huge crowd gathered in the middle of the street to watch the fight between the bus driver and the car driver. Eventually a couple of cops arrived at the scene. The entire time the bus in front of mine was trying it's best to squeeze by the little space allowed on the right side of stopped bus. After about ten minutes it succeeded. The three cars behind that bus followed it. Other cars started to pull around my bus and get by. My bus couldn't squeeze through the space on the right of the street because the branches from the trees surrounding the street hang too low, and if attempted, my fellow passengers and I on the second floor of the bus would be taken out by the trees. So my bus pulled across the road to the left near a large stream of oncoming traffic. Of course, it couldn't pass on the left b/c of the large stream of oncoming traffic. So it just ended up blocking traffic on my side of the road further. We sat like that for another 5 minutes or so with people screaming and honking horns and 100 people in my bus pressed up against the windows watching the scene until a police officer realized what was going on and had the bus that had been hit move. I wasn't too late for work.
This weekend I was walking down the street when a guy in front of me grabbed his girlfriend by the hair and threw her into a street advertisement where the characters for "Creating a More Civilized City Area" were written. People kind of slowed down to watch. She put up a fight for a bit and then became submissive. Not even the police officers standing by watching did anything.
Last night I watched a German film called "Stroszek". It's about a man who is released from prison and comes to the US with his girlfriend to start a new life in Wisconsin. They confiscate his pet bird at customs. His mobile home is sold in auction when he can't pay for it. His girlfriend begins prostituting herself to truck drivers and eventually runs off with a couple of them to Vancouver. He steels a tow truck and holds up a convenience store for only $32 and a frozen turkey. He ends up in an amusement area that has a dancing chicken, a rabbit that drives a toy fire engine, and a rooster that plays the piano. He rides the ski lift around once and then shoots himself at the realization of what has become of his American dream. I don't think I've ever been so homesick before.
Anyway, a couple weeks ago we were reading about 管闲事 (guan xian shi) and 围观 (wei guan). 管闲事 translates as 'mind other's business' or 'make everyone's business one's own'. 围观 is to 'surround and watch' or 'encircle'. These are both common activities in China. At first I thought it was just because I was a foreigner that people always surrounded me when I bought food, for instance. However, a number of events have happened that have enlightened me to the fact that the Chinese butt in to every situation. Except maybe some of the important ones.
The other day I was on my bus going to work. I ride the double decker bus. Anyway, a bus in front of us pulled away from the stop and a car behind it ran into it. This was on one of the most crowded streets in Shanghai. The bus was pulled across the two lanes, with only a little space on the right to pull through. Both the bus driver and the car driver got out of their vehicles and started yelling at each other. Between my bus and the bus that had been hit was one other regular decker bus and about three other cars. A huge crowd gathered in the middle of the street to watch the fight between the bus driver and the car driver. Eventually a couple of cops arrived at the scene. The entire time the bus in front of mine was trying it's best to squeeze by the little space allowed on the right side of stopped bus. After about ten minutes it succeeded. The three cars behind that bus followed it. Other cars started to pull around my bus and get by. My bus couldn't squeeze through the space on the right of the street because the branches from the trees surrounding the street hang too low, and if attempted, my fellow passengers and I on the second floor of the bus would be taken out by the trees. So my bus pulled across the road to the left near a large stream of oncoming traffic. Of course, it couldn't pass on the left b/c of the large stream of oncoming traffic. So it just ended up blocking traffic on my side of the road further. We sat like that for another 5 minutes or so with people screaming and honking horns and 100 people in my bus pressed up against the windows watching the scene until a police officer realized what was going on and had the bus that had been hit move. I wasn't too late for work.
This weekend I was walking down the street when a guy in front of me grabbed his girlfriend by the hair and threw her into a street advertisement where the characters for "Creating a More Civilized City Area" were written. People kind of slowed down to watch. She put up a fight for a bit and then became submissive. Not even the police officers standing by watching did anything.
Last night I watched a German film called "Stroszek". It's about a man who is released from prison and comes to the US with his girlfriend to start a new life in Wisconsin. They confiscate his pet bird at customs. His mobile home is sold in auction when he can't pay for it. His girlfriend begins prostituting herself to truck drivers and eventually runs off with a couple of them to Vancouver. He steels a tow truck and holds up a convenience store for only $32 and a frozen turkey. He ends up in an amusement area that has a dancing chicken, a rabbit that drives a toy fire engine, and a rooster that plays the piano. He rides the ski lift around once and then shoots himself at the realization of what has become of his American dream. I don't think I've ever been so homesick before.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
bill gates is a loser
Stupid microsoft. Did you really think you could work with China?
He testified that one of the lowest moments of his career with Microsoft was a conversation in which Gates yelled at him and said the company had been "f-----" by the Chinese people and its government.
I wake up and say the same thing every morning.
He testified that one of the lowest moments of his career with Microsoft was a conversation in which Gates yelled at him and said the company had been "f-----" by the Chinese people and its government.
I wake up and say the same thing every morning.
Josh in China
My photo's from when my friend Josh was here are up. You can check out the highlights from my flickr badge, or else visit his webpage for the full set.
Here are a couple of my faves:
Here are a couple of my faves:
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Tibet Freedom
Smiling faces were everywhere as people celebrated the 40th birthday of the Tibet Autonomous Region
I saw this on TV. They did look kind of happy. Maybe the Beastie Boys and the Tibet Freedom Concert have it all wrong...
In other news, I actually did end up leaving the house this weekend. It didn't take much. Just a bar invite. In case you were worried...
Also, news on how China is handling their "hurricane". It looks a little better than the other super power.
I saw this on TV. They did look kind of happy. Maybe the Beastie Boys and the Tibet Freedom Concert have it all wrong...
In other news, I actually did end up leaving the house this weekend. It didn't take much. Just a bar invite. In case you were worried...
Also, news on how China is handling their "hurricane". It looks a little better than the other super power.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
服饰与美容
It came to my attention the other day, that I have failed to mention the most important development in China this millennium - the release of Vogue China. Finally I can rip out pages from a quality magazine for my tailor to copy, rather than that crap Cosmopolitan and Elle that I've been using. You can imagine my shock and disgust when I realized I was grasping the hands of the Chinese representative and jumping up and down yelling "Vogue's in China! Vogue's in China!" at it's premier in the Jingan mall - where nothing is sold for less than 1000 USD. What an event. This happened about a month ago.
This brings me to the next groundbreaking event in China - a release of an "American Idol"-like TV show called "Super Girl". Guy's aren't invited to participate. I actually haven't been watching because Chinese music makes me sick. The number one hit here - that's been around since I arrived here in January - haunts my dreams. It's everywhere. I don't even know the words. I can sing it, but I have no idea what I'm saying, and I've seen the characters, which all seem too complex for me to look up. I think they're something along the lines of 'you lied and betrayed me but I still love you.' It doesn't matter, it's total crap. If they really wanted to fuck up the inmates at Guantanamo, they'd play that non-stop instead of the theme to Sesame Street. It's more or less played non-stop here and I'm barely holding on to my sanity.
Anyway, I think they announced the winner of "Super Girl". It was a tough competition full of scandal. Apparently there were rumors going around that the winner was a lesbian because she never wore skirts and had a short haircut and people said she had a wife. Well whatever, she emerged victorious. And life goes on.
No, I haven't forgotten about the terrible hurricane. In fact, last night I was at my friend's apartment, which is much nicer than mine, so he has access to BBC news and CNN. CNN was crap as always, but BBC was doing good coverage. Likening the situation to that of the tsunami although less organized and more pathetic. "The richest nation in the world thrown into horrific, third-world standards because the money that could have been used to prevent this problem was diverted to a useless, fake war instead." At least the rest of the world holds the US with some respect. It actually was a bit embarrassing for me to watch how terrible the situation is being handled since I was the only American in the room. So I mostly just ended up shouting profanities at bushie all night.
I'm currently debating whether I should leave my house for the next couple days. I have to go to work at some point on Monday, but I may just have some food and alcohol delivered to my apartment and call it a weekend. I'm in that state of mind right now. I've got my vogue, about 1000 pirated dvds to choose from, and internet connection. I should be okay.
This brings me to the next groundbreaking event in China - a release of an "American Idol"-like TV show called "Super Girl". Guy's aren't invited to participate. I actually haven't been watching because Chinese music makes me sick. The number one hit here - that's been around since I arrived here in January - haunts my dreams. It's everywhere. I don't even know the words. I can sing it, but I have no idea what I'm saying, and I've seen the characters, which all seem too complex for me to look up. I think they're something along the lines of 'you lied and betrayed me but I still love you.' It doesn't matter, it's total crap. If they really wanted to fuck up the inmates at Guantanamo, they'd play that non-stop instead of the theme to Sesame Street. It's more or less played non-stop here and I'm barely holding on to my sanity.
Anyway, I think they announced the winner of "Super Girl". It was a tough competition full of scandal. Apparently there were rumors going around that the winner was a lesbian because she never wore skirts and had a short haircut and people said she had a wife. Well whatever, she emerged victorious. And life goes on.
No, I haven't forgotten about the terrible hurricane. In fact, last night I was at my friend's apartment, which is much nicer than mine, so he has access to BBC news and CNN. CNN was crap as always, but BBC was doing good coverage. Likening the situation to that of the tsunami although less organized and more pathetic. "The richest nation in the world thrown into horrific, third-world standards because the money that could have been used to prevent this problem was diverted to a useless, fake war instead." At least the rest of the world holds the US with some respect. It actually was a bit embarrassing for me to watch how terrible the situation is being handled since I was the only American in the room. So I mostly just ended up shouting profanities at bushie all night.
I'm currently debating whether I should leave my house for the next couple days. I have to go to work at some point on Monday, but I may just have some food and alcohol delivered to my apartment and call it a weekend. I'm in that state of mind right now. I've got my vogue, about 1000 pirated dvds to choose from, and internet connection. I should be okay.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
LA goes blue?
"Tensions over funding for the New Orleans levees emerged more than a year ago when a local official asserted money had been diverted to pay for the Iraq war."
So, now that he's lied to us, fucked up our economy, killed literally tens of thousands of civilians around the globe (including those in his own country), and drowned an entire city, will we impeach him?
No, of course not. We'll probably change the constitution so he can stay in another 4 years.
And all Clinton did was get a little lovin'.
We have only ourselves to blame.
So, now that he's lied to us, fucked up our economy, killed literally tens of thousands of civilians around the globe (including those in his own country), and drowned an entire city, will we impeach him?
No, of course not. We'll probably change the constitution so he can stay in another 4 years.
And all Clinton did was get a little lovin'.
We have only ourselves to blame.
sue america
I have to say, I am saddened by the amount of death that has occurred this week. Thousands dead due to a hurricane. Another thousand dead due to a stampede. It's all very traumatic.
I have to admit, I don't like seeing bad things happen to America. Although I realize the bubble of safety that I learned engulfs America when I was young doesn't actually exist, it's still kind of sad to see it actually penetrated. To someone who grew up watching the horrors of the rest of the world safely on TV from her suburban home, it seems a bit backwards to now be sitting in the People's Republic of China and looking at pictures of weeping wives next to their recently deceased husbands on a river bank in America. I've been saying this is going to be the case for the past ten years, but I never actually believed my words. If you get me on a rant about the state of the world, I always go off on the perceived safety of America, and how it's on a downward spiral, and we'll all be aware of this in ten years.
But it's a terrible thing that happened to New Orleans. I had a great time when I was there. Full of the best kind of sin. I can't believe the entire city is now underwater. Though with ancient levees and PBS programs predicting this, it really shouldn't be that unbelievable.
In Asia news, I think another Typhoon is headed our way. Fortunately I think Taiwan is going to take the brunt for the mainland. So Shanghai should be okay. Just a little more wind and rain for us.
I read an article today that a Chinese man is suing Deloitte Touche in China for treating Taiwan and China as separate countries on their website. He claims it has caused him years of mental anguish and shame as a Chinese citizen. Most lawmakers think the lawsuit will fall through.
When we heard about the stampede in China, it was like one of our worst China fears coming true. Everyone's waiting for something to spark mass chaos and copious amounts of death and destruction.
There is a flag raising in Tiananmen Square every morning. When I lived in Beijing four years ago, I went to the National Day ceremonies there. It was so crowded that I was actually lifted off my feet by the crowd. Through a series of pushing and screaming, my friends and I managed to get to the front of the crowd. There was a row of guards holding us back, making sure nobody got too close to the ceremony. I asked the guard if he liked his job. He said nothing.
I have to admit, I don't like seeing bad things happen to America. Although I realize the bubble of safety that I learned engulfs America when I was young doesn't actually exist, it's still kind of sad to see it actually penetrated. To someone who grew up watching the horrors of the rest of the world safely on TV from her suburban home, it seems a bit backwards to now be sitting in the People's Republic of China and looking at pictures of weeping wives next to their recently deceased husbands on a river bank in America. I've been saying this is going to be the case for the past ten years, but I never actually believed my words. If you get me on a rant about the state of the world, I always go off on the perceived safety of America, and how it's on a downward spiral, and we'll all be aware of this in ten years.
But it's a terrible thing that happened to New Orleans. I had a great time when I was there. Full of the best kind of sin. I can't believe the entire city is now underwater. Though with ancient levees and PBS programs predicting this, it really shouldn't be that unbelievable.
In Asia news, I think another Typhoon is headed our way. Fortunately I think Taiwan is going to take the brunt for the mainland. So Shanghai should be okay. Just a little more wind and rain for us.
I read an article today that a Chinese man is suing Deloitte Touche in China for treating Taiwan and China as separate countries on their website. He claims it has caused him years of mental anguish and shame as a Chinese citizen. Most lawmakers think the lawsuit will fall through.
When we heard about the stampede in China, it was like one of our worst China fears coming true. Everyone's waiting for something to spark mass chaos and copious amounts of death and destruction.
There is a flag raising in Tiananmen Square every morning. When I lived in Beijing four years ago, I went to the National Day ceremonies there. It was so crowded that I was actually lifted off my feet by the crowd. Through a series of pushing and screaming, my friends and I managed to get to the front of the crowd. There was a row of guards holding us back, making sure nobody got too close to the ceremony. I asked the guard if he liked his job. He said nothing.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Shades of Gray
There is no racism in China because there are no black people. There is no homophobia in China, because there are no homosexuals.
These are the responses you get if you ask a Chinese person about racism, homophobia, or other types of social biases.
The communist party eradicated gender inequality. Tibet, Xinjiang, and Mongolia are all happy to be part of China, but you have to watch yourself around them. The Tibetans are known to be scandalous and thieving. That Dalai Llama... you know he's just about to stab you in the back.
When the Chinese see a black person they refer to them as 黑人 (Black Person). They yell this in the street, it's on T.V., and they address them as such in restaurants and other public places. Every other non-Chinese is just 外国人 or foreigner. A busload of tourists stops in a public area and everyone turns and starts pointing and yelling 'foreigners! foreigners!" On a number of occasions cab drivers have failed to pick me up because I'm a foreigner. But there's no racism in China, so I'll just have to get over it.
I'm going to refer back to "Farewell My Concubine". I'm not sure if you've seen the movie, but a large part of the plot is the relationship the female character opera singer has with his male benefactor and admirer. This movie is one of the pride and joys of Chinese film. How such a large part of the movie can revolve around a homosexual relationship in a country with no homosexuals is pretty impressive.
A lot of Chinese like to tell me they're Christian. When I respond that I am not, they're shocked. "But you're American! What religion are you?" "I'm not." They don't understand, although officially nobody in China has a religion. Communism and all. Most Chinese claim to be Christian and Buddhist and any other religion you happen to mention.
There just aren't the defining lines here that exist elsewhere in the world. Nothing is black and white. Policy, beliefs, ideology are all gray. That's why Communism has 'existed' here successfully for so long. Because it's not really here at all. It never has been. "Communism" is just a term that Western culture uses to define China since definition is a necessary part of our upbringings. There is actually very little definitive about China.
Even in the language. "Yes" and "No" don't exist. There is no word for "Yes" or "No". Everything either is, or isn't. For example, a simple question like, "Have you seen this movie?" The answer is either "seen" or "haven't seen".
Even if you take something that looks as definitive as the yin and the yang, they really aren't at all. Because everything has a little yin and a little yang. Take the symbol and mix it together and all you have is more gray.
These are the responses you get if you ask a Chinese person about racism, homophobia, or other types of social biases.
The communist party eradicated gender inequality. Tibet, Xinjiang, and Mongolia are all happy to be part of China, but you have to watch yourself around them. The Tibetans are known to be scandalous and thieving. That Dalai Llama... you know he's just about to stab you in the back.
When the Chinese see a black person they refer to them as 黑人 (Black Person). They yell this in the street, it's on T.V., and they address them as such in restaurants and other public places. Every other non-Chinese is just 外国人 or foreigner. A busload of tourists stops in a public area and everyone turns and starts pointing and yelling 'foreigners! foreigners!" On a number of occasions cab drivers have failed to pick me up because I'm a foreigner. But there's no racism in China, so I'll just have to get over it.
I'm going to refer back to "Farewell My Concubine". I'm not sure if you've seen the movie, but a large part of the plot is the relationship the female character opera singer has with his male benefactor and admirer. This movie is one of the pride and joys of Chinese film. How such a large part of the movie can revolve around a homosexual relationship in a country with no homosexuals is pretty impressive.
A lot of Chinese like to tell me they're Christian. When I respond that I am not, they're shocked. "But you're American! What religion are you?" "I'm not." They don't understand, although officially nobody in China has a religion. Communism and all. Most Chinese claim to be Christian and Buddhist and any other religion you happen to mention.
There just aren't the defining lines here that exist elsewhere in the world. Nothing is black and white. Policy, beliefs, ideology are all gray. That's why Communism has 'existed' here successfully for so long. Because it's not really here at all. It never has been. "Communism" is just a term that Western culture uses to define China since definition is a necessary part of our upbringings. There is actually very little definitive about China.
Even in the language. "Yes" and "No" don't exist. There is no word for "Yes" or "No". Everything either is, or isn't. For example, a simple question like, "Have you seen this movie?" The answer is either "seen" or "haven't seen".
Even if you take something that looks as definitive as the yin and the yang, they really aren't at all. Because everything has a little yin and a little yang. Take the symbol and mix it together and all you have is more gray.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
The World on Time
I was almost run over by a FedEx truck the other day. Every time I step foot on the streets here, someone is always trying to run me down, either by a car, bike, moped, or general inconsiderate walking. I only took note of the FedEx truck because I hope whatever packages were in it actually got there in time.
Walking on the streets here I'm always confronted with near death experiences. The other day I was walking on the street when a window fell from what looked like a perfectly stable building and smashed on the sidewalk in front of me. Other times crates, dangerously piled up, have decided to fall across my path and spill into the street. Today was a new one. I was walking by a construction zone (not unusual, my neighborhood has changed 3 times since I've been here. I'm waiting to wake up one day and be in a completely new building) and some people were welding something on a building. I reached my arm to scratch my back and about three sparks flew in between the 'V' my arm created. There's nothing I can do about this. Just keep walking.
When people are new in China, they're shocked at how close I walk to traffic. I head straight into oncoming cars with no fear. If you want to get anywhere, it's the only way to do it.
I only mention this in case I meet my death by being crushed by a Haier billboard or some other untimely accident. If this is the case I want both my eulogy and epitaph to be "She knew it was coming."
I was sitting on my balcony this evening, enjoying my limited, smog filled view of the bund. There were cars honking all over the city, about seven people yelling on their cell phones 17 floors below me, some guy ringing a bell for no apparent reason, 10 televisions turned up way beyond necessary, a couple jack hammers, and about 20 other noises that could be declared the most annoying in the world. I've become numb to all of them, but when my roommates alarm went off, I couldn't stand it. I think an alarm clock must be the most annoying noise in the world. I can't stand any of them. The one set on my phone drives me crazy. Once I was in Brookstone and one of their alarms went off. I ran around the store trying to find the source and shut it up.
It's the little things you have to worry about.
Walking on the streets here I'm always confronted with near death experiences. The other day I was walking on the street when a window fell from what looked like a perfectly stable building and smashed on the sidewalk in front of me. Other times crates, dangerously piled up, have decided to fall across my path and spill into the street. Today was a new one. I was walking by a construction zone (not unusual, my neighborhood has changed 3 times since I've been here. I'm waiting to wake up one day and be in a completely new building) and some people were welding something on a building. I reached my arm to scratch my back and about three sparks flew in between the 'V' my arm created. There's nothing I can do about this. Just keep walking.
When people are new in China, they're shocked at how close I walk to traffic. I head straight into oncoming cars with no fear. If you want to get anywhere, it's the only way to do it.
I only mention this in case I meet my death by being crushed by a Haier billboard or some other untimely accident. If this is the case I want both my eulogy and epitaph to be "She knew it was coming."
I was sitting on my balcony this evening, enjoying my limited, smog filled view of the bund. There were cars honking all over the city, about seven people yelling on their cell phones 17 floors below me, some guy ringing a bell for no apparent reason, 10 televisions turned up way beyond necessary, a couple jack hammers, and about 20 other noises that could be declared the most annoying in the world. I've become numb to all of them, but when my roommates alarm went off, I couldn't stand it. I think an alarm clock must be the most annoying noise in the world. I can't stand any of them. The one set on my phone drives me crazy. Once I was in Brookstone and one of their alarms went off. I ran around the store trying to find the source and shut it up.
It's the little things you have to worry about.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Friday, August 19, 2005
My New Job
I got this email this morning:
My real name is Kathryn btw. Nicole is just some alias I was given at birth.
Maybe I'll consider it. As long as I don't have to sacrifice my personal life to serve and my sessions will always be with the Naval Reserve closest to my home (is that Taiwan?), it could be okay. Ha.
 |
Dear Kathryn, Did you know that your particular skills and interest in a career with the government could serve you well in the U.S. Naval Reserve? As someone who works in the government sector, you know the pride that comes from serving your community, your state or your country. In the Naval Reserve, you can extend your service to include helping to safeguard your country's citizens and protect its shores. In exchange for your dedication and part-time commitment, you will gain unique, career-enhancing skills and leadership abilities and receive countless benefits and rewards One of the greatest benefits of joining our force is that you won't have to sacrifice your personal life to serve. Your training sessions will almost always be with the Naval Reserve unit located closest to your home. Click here to see some of the many opportunities available to you in the Naval Reserve. Or, if you would like a Naval Reserve representative to contact you directly, click here. |
My real name is Kathryn btw. Nicole is just some alias I was given at birth.
Maybe I'll consider it. As long as I don't have to sacrifice my personal life to serve and my sessions will always be with the Naval Reserve closest to my home (is that Taiwan?), it could be okay. Ha.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
nylon stockings
I know I've been MIA for the past week. No, I haven't dug a hole to America, but one of my oldest and dearest friends came to visit for a week. I was hoping we'd both end up in a different country, but alas, it appears as though I'm still in China and he's moved on back to the union.
It was his first time in China. He doesn't really do third world so we tried to avoid that as much as possible. It pretty much impossible to avoid bicycles and people spitting and peeing on the streets here, but we took as many cabs as possible. We went up to Beijing last weekend. According to my friend, they are not ready for the Olympic games and never will be. Sorry HJ. Beijing really is a shithole though. When we flew in we couldn't see the city until we were 10 feet above it because the pollution was so bad. Cab drivers wouldn't pick us up because we're white, or standing in the wrong place, or because they are fucking assholes. It was very, very hot and the BJ doesn't believe in AC. All the good bars have been ripped down and replaced with shopping centers and all the shopping centers suck. There's too much government and bureaucracy and the expats are all big China losers who think they're better than Shanghai expats.
The duck is good though. I do like my Peking duck. But I've been told I can get that in Shanghai, so hopefully I'll never have to leave this city again.
We also went up to the Great Wall. The most useless manmade piece of architecture in the history of the world. And it resembles Disney Land. But it's really old and exploitable and therefore interesting. I think I disillusioned a couple from the Philippines who had us take their picture.
"This is a once in a life time experience!"
"Actually, this is my seventh time here."
I've since realized that was a lie. It was only my sixth. But hey, everyone who comes to China wants to see the Wall. I wish it was similar to the experience Pink Floyd creates, but it's not. It's good, but it's not that good.
Anyway, the part of the wall we went to was a part I've never been to before. It was cool because it had a toboggan ride from the wall back to the parking lot. It was really unsafe and rickety and a lot of fun. I enjoyed my historic, Great Wall, toboggan experience.
Anyway, we got back to Shanghai as quickly as the night train could carry us with only a three-day stomachache to show for Beijing. Goddamn duck.
There's a magnetic levitation (maglev) train that runs from a subway stop to the airport in Shanghai. It's the fastest train in the world, and since I had never ridden it before I decided to escort my friend to the airport for the ride. It was fun. You kind of had a rush afterwards. 30k in 8 minutes. I think our top speed was 431 kph. Not bad. It's really fast and at times you’re on about a 55-degree angle with the ground. And the train isn't even on tracks, it floats the entire way. Too bad the Chinese still managed to fuck it up by connecting it to the most inconvenient subway station in the city and having it only run from 8-5:30 (not a time when most international flights arrive and take off from Shanghai.)
So anyway, as I was waiting to get on the Maglev for the airport I overheard a blond American chick ask if 'this one went to the airport?' (There are only two stops, the subway station and the airport.) This made me promptly not miss America at all and realize why I'm not there. However, on the way back to the subway station I watched a fat little Chinese kid wearing mid-calf nylon stockings run in circles and bang a half-empty plastic water bottle against his head while his mother took about a minute to gather all the phlegm and spit and mucus and saliva in her mouth before forcefully spitting it in the ashtray. My options of Yankee Doodle and Doodle Dipshits aren't the greatest choices I've had in life.
As I was helping my friend check in I made a comment that I was jealous he was leaving all this. His response was, "But you love it here." I found that extremely depressing for a number of reasons. I really am a masochist.
If I had more money I would have just jumped on any of the other flights leaving while I was there. Frankfurt, Manila, and Tokyo were just a credit card swipe away.
But I'm still here. In Shanghai, in the PRC, and someone bought the apartment next to ours and is renovating the entire inside. I wake up to saws and hammers every morning (7:20 this morning!), and on my way to the elevator I step over Chinese construction workers sleeping in the hallway.
It was his first time in China. He doesn't really do third world so we tried to avoid that as much as possible. It pretty much impossible to avoid bicycles and people spitting and peeing on the streets here, but we took as many cabs as possible. We went up to Beijing last weekend. According to my friend, they are not ready for the Olympic games and never will be. Sorry HJ. Beijing really is a shithole though. When we flew in we couldn't see the city until we were 10 feet above it because the pollution was so bad. Cab drivers wouldn't pick us up because we're white, or standing in the wrong place, or because they are fucking assholes. It was very, very hot and the BJ doesn't believe in AC. All the good bars have been ripped down and replaced with shopping centers and all the shopping centers suck. There's too much government and bureaucracy and the expats are all big China losers who think they're better than Shanghai expats.
The duck is good though. I do like my Peking duck. But I've been told I can get that in Shanghai, so hopefully I'll never have to leave this city again.
We also went up to the Great Wall. The most useless manmade piece of architecture in the history of the world. And it resembles Disney Land. But it's really old and exploitable and therefore interesting. I think I disillusioned a couple from the Philippines who had us take their picture.
"This is a once in a life time experience!"
"Actually, this is my seventh time here."
I've since realized that was a lie. It was only my sixth. But hey, everyone who comes to China wants to see the Wall. I wish it was similar to the experience Pink Floyd creates, but it's not. It's good, but it's not that good.
Anyway, the part of the wall we went to was a part I've never been to before. It was cool because it had a toboggan ride from the wall back to the parking lot. It was really unsafe and rickety and a lot of fun. I enjoyed my historic, Great Wall, toboggan experience.
Anyway, we got back to Shanghai as quickly as the night train could carry us with only a three-day stomachache to show for Beijing. Goddamn duck.
There's a magnetic levitation (maglev) train that runs from a subway stop to the airport in Shanghai. It's the fastest train in the world, and since I had never ridden it before I decided to escort my friend to the airport for the ride. It was fun. You kind of had a rush afterwards. 30k in 8 minutes. I think our top speed was 431 kph. Not bad. It's really fast and at times you’re on about a 55-degree angle with the ground. And the train isn't even on tracks, it floats the entire way. Too bad the Chinese still managed to fuck it up by connecting it to the most inconvenient subway station in the city and having it only run from 8-5:30 (not a time when most international flights arrive and take off from Shanghai.)
So anyway, as I was waiting to get on the Maglev for the airport I overheard a blond American chick ask if 'this one went to the airport?' (There are only two stops, the subway station and the airport.) This made me promptly not miss America at all and realize why I'm not there. However, on the way back to the subway station I watched a fat little Chinese kid wearing mid-calf nylon stockings run in circles and bang a half-empty plastic water bottle against his head while his mother took about a minute to gather all the phlegm and spit and mucus and saliva in her mouth before forcefully spitting it in the ashtray. My options of Yankee Doodle and Doodle Dipshits aren't the greatest choices I've had in life.
As I was helping my friend check in I made a comment that I was jealous he was leaving all this. His response was, "But you love it here." I found that extremely depressing for a number of reasons. I really am a masochist.
If I had more money I would have just jumped on any of the other flights leaving while I was there. Frankfurt, Manila, and Tokyo were just a credit card swipe away.
But I'm still here. In Shanghai, in the PRC, and someone bought the apartment next to ours and is renovating the entire inside. I wake up to saws and hammers every morning (7:20 this morning!), and on my way to the elevator I step over Chinese construction workers sleeping in the hallway.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
friendster message
Hi, I am a chinese who is working in Shenzhen,
Message:
Hi, I am a chinese who is working in Shenzhen,
China. I work for an internet company as marketing
and operating director. I like to make more friends
from all over the world. I like playing football and
tennis ball and Karaokay. Communicating with
friends is a great joy to me. Would you like to be
my friend? We can exchange opnions on
marketing and cooperation management, we also
can talk about economic and chinese tarde. To
me, it is also a good way to practice my english.
Larry Liu's Blog
Saturday, August 06, 2005
social light
I have now reached the pinnacle of society. Yes, yes, that's right. My smiling face has appeared in the Shanghai social pages. Pages normally reserved for head's of state, celebrities, royalty, and now me. As far as I can tell, I no longer have to go on living because my life can't get any better than it is right now. I might as well retire my socialite position, move to the suburbs, consider the galleria a cultural event, and start contributing to the overpopulation of the world.
No, it's alright though. I bumped into a friend of mine who told me about it last night. Yes I did decide to go out. Sure driving was a little dangerous, and we were hydroplaning the entire way, but if you're not willing to take risks in life, why bother living? Also, I was thirsty. So for the past couple days I've been published and I didn't even realize it. Amazing. It's a good picture too, I'm wearing a cute top and everything.
Anyway, I must depart for brunch now. I can't keep my fans waiting.
No, it's alright though. I bumped into a friend of mine who told me about it last night. Yes I did decide to go out. Sure driving was a little dangerous, and we were hydroplaning the entire way, but if you're not willing to take risks in life, why bother living? Also, I was thirsty. So for the past couple days I've been published and I didn't even realize it. Amazing. It's a good picture too, I'm wearing a cute top and everything.
Anyway, I must depart for brunch now. I can't keep my fans waiting.
Friday, August 05, 2005
台风
I am actually sitting in the middle of a typhoon as I write this. Typhoon Matsa is sweeping across Shanghai as I type. It's pretty exciting. I've never been in a typhoon before. I was out celebrating a friend's birthday last night on a rooftop restaurant when it hit. The restaurant is under glass, so it was really neat to see the rain slamming into the sides and all around. Until it started coming in and getting us wet. Then we had to move, and eventually leave and go to the secret entrance bar again. But that closed early because there was a wedding there today, which I really think takes away the whole secret aspect. Don't worry though, I got my fill of typhoon cocktails to steady my nerves.
Typhoon in chinese is 台风 (taifeng), which literally means 'platform wind'. You got to love the Chinese. I originally thought that was just a phonetic translation from a Japanese word but apparently I'm wrong:
The history of typhoon presents a perfect example of the long journey that many words made in coming to English. It traveled from Greece to Arabia to India, and also arose independently in China, before assuming its current form in our language. The Greek word tuphōn, used both as the name of the father of the winds and a common noun meaning “whirlwind, typhoon,” was borrowed into Arabic during the Middle Ages, when Arabic learning both preserved and expanded the classical heritage and passed it on to Europe and other parts of the world. Ṭūfān, the Arabic version of the Greek word, passed into languages spoken in India, where Arabic-speaking Muslim invaders had settled in the 11th century. Thus the descendant of the Arabic word, passing into English (first recorded in 1588) through an Indian language and appearing in English in forms such as touffon and tufan, originally referred specifically to a severe storm in India. The modern form of typhoon was influenced by a borrowing from the Cantonese variety of Chinese, namely the word taaîfung, and respelled to make it look more like Greek. Taaîfung, meaning literally “great wind,” was coincidentally similar to the Arabic borrowing and is first recorded in English guise as tuffoon in 1699. The various forms coalesced and finally became typhoon, a spelling that first appeared in 1819 in Shelley's Prometheus Unbound.
Wow, gun powder, paper, noodles, and now typhoons. What can't the Chinese do?
I was actually supposed to be in America for my cousin's wedding this weekend, but then I would have missed the typhoon. But congratulations Ben and Natalie, hope you had an amazing, typhoon-free ceremony. Wish I were there.
I was actually totally in the dark that a typhoon was headed my way. I was walking around on Friday thinking that it was a pretty windy day and then a friend of mine clued me in. Also, the Koreans were on top of it. Typhoon sounds the same in Korean as well. So anyway, I'm stuck in my house today because I don't like the wind, and I don't want to get wet, and you know, there’s a typhoon out there. They aren't kidding when they say torrential rains. Water is streaming down my windows right now, and I live on the 17th floor. I may study, or just stare at the wall for the rest of the day. I haven't really decided.
So anyway, that's where I'm at. Wish me luck.
Typhoon in chinese is 台风 (taifeng), which literally means 'platform wind'. You got to love the Chinese. I originally thought that was just a phonetic translation from a Japanese word but apparently I'm wrong:
The history of typhoon presents a perfect example of the long journey that many words made in coming to English. It traveled from Greece to Arabia to India, and also arose independently in China, before assuming its current form in our language. The Greek word tuphōn, used both as the name of the father of the winds and a common noun meaning “whirlwind, typhoon,” was borrowed into Arabic during the Middle Ages, when Arabic learning both preserved and expanded the classical heritage and passed it on to Europe and other parts of the world. Ṭūfān, the Arabic version of the Greek word, passed into languages spoken in India, where Arabic-speaking Muslim invaders had settled in the 11th century. Thus the descendant of the Arabic word, passing into English (first recorded in 1588) through an Indian language and appearing in English in forms such as touffon and tufan, originally referred specifically to a severe storm in India. The modern form of typhoon was influenced by a borrowing from the Cantonese variety of Chinese, namely the word taaîfung, and respelled to make it look more like Greek. Taaîfung, meaning literally “great wind,” was coincidentally similar to the Arabic borrowing and is first recorded in English guise as tuffoon in 1699. The various forms coalesced and finally became typhoon, a spelling that first appeared in 1819 in Shelley's Prometheus Unbound.
Wow, gun powder, paper, noodles, and now typhoons. What can't the Chinese do?
I was actually supposed to be in America for my cousin's wedding this weekend, but then I would have missed the typhoon. But congratulations Ben and Natalie, hope you had an amazing, typhoon-free ceremony. Wish I were there.
I was actually totally in the dark that a typhoon was headed my way. I was walking around on Friday thinking that it was a pretty windy day and then a friend of mine clued me in. Also, the Koreans were on top of it. Typhoon sounds the same in Korean as well. So anyway, I'm stuck in my house today because I don't like the wind, and I don't want to get wet, and you know, there’s a typhoon out there. They aren't kidding when they say torrential rains. Water is streaming down my windows right now, and I live on the 17th floor. I may study, or just stare at the wall for the rest of the day. I haven't really decided.
So anyway, that's where I'm at. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
toolings
I used to have a thing against the French. I remember realizing one day that I had visited France more than any other country and being completely horrified. I no longer have a huge problem with France, but I did get a similar appalling feeling the other day when it occurred to me that I have now lived in China longer than any other country. Except America of course.
A couple years ago I had a family holiday in upstate New York. It was at one of those resort-type places where there is a set schedule of activities, like in Dirty Dancing. Anyway, it was as exciting as family vacations can be. All I really remember from it was some game involving a racquet and net that wasn't ping-pong or tennis and I didn't play it anyway b/c I had too much of an attitude, some misunderstanding concerning a massage, expensive phone calls, and a lot of scrabble. Oh, and apparently toolings is a word.
Anyway, I relive that vacation every day. I play a version of scrabble with my Korean kids. We wrote a bunch of letters on pieces of paper. Only they get to choose 20 letters each, and everyone can see each other's pieces, and you can swap letters with other people. Which should make this the easiest game in the world, but some problems still arise. I try to keep it challenging by only taking 10 letters for myself and not swapping. So I end up with a lot of Zs, Qs, and Xes. Also I have to pick specific letters to make a word from to keep the game spreading and prevent it from bunching in one corner. And the word has to be long and easy enough (so toolings is out of the question.) But it's all right. They seem to like it. I'm personally never going to play scrabble again, but that's just what I got out of it.
I went to this really cool bar last night. You need to know a secret combination to get in the door, and once inside it's fucking amazing. I was drinking from test tubes all night. I woke up this morning a bit hung over, which isn't unusual. If I didn't work with children I'd be drunk all the time. Anyway, I put on my sunglasses and headphones as I do every day. I walked outside and felt a bit off only to realize it was raining. When you live in your own little world you forget about the outside.
A couple years ago I had a family holiday in upstate New York. It was at one of those resort-type places where there is a set schedule of activities, like in Dirty Dancing. Anyway, it was as exciting as family vacations can be. All I really remember from it was some game involving a racquet and net that wasn't ping-pong or tennis and I didn't play it anyway b/c I had too much of an attitude, some misunderstanding concerning a massage, expensive phone calls, and a lot of scrabble. Oh, and apparently toolings is a word.
Anyway, I relive that vacation every day. I play a version of scrabble with my Korean kids. We wrote a bunch of letters on pieces of paper. Only they get to choose 20 letters each, and everyone can see each other's pieces, and you can swap letters with other people. Which should make this the easiest game in the world, but some problems still arise. I try to keep it challenging by only taking 10 letters for myself and not swapping. So I end up with a lot of Zs, Qs, and Xes. Also I have to pick specific letters to make a word from to keep the game spreading and prevent it from bunching in one corner. And the word has to be long and easy enough (so toolings is out of the question.) But it's all right. They seem to like it. I'm personally never going to play scrabble again, but that's just what I got out of it.
I went to this really cool bar last night. You need to know a secret combination to get in the door, and once inside it's fucking amazing. I was drinking from test tubes all night. I woke up this morning a bit hung over, which isn't unusual. If I didn't work with children I'd be drunk all the time. Anyway, I put on my sunglasses and headphones as I do every day. I walked outside and felt a bit off only to realize it was raining. When you live in your own little world you forget about the outside.
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