another glass of bubbly please...

I should not be blogging right now, because I've had a little bit of champagne tonight, but I can't help it. I got in to grad school today!!!!!!!! Yay for me! I am going to be in Melbourne, Australia next year, the most liveable city in the world (Seriously, it was actually proven it is.) I am out of this dump of a most unliveable country in the world. Although, Shanghai is the most liveable city in the most unliveable country. I think Baghdad may have scored higher than anywhere in China.

Whatever, the point is, I'm not going to be here next year. But China still managed to give me a 'fuck you' to my accomplishment. My wallet and sunglasses were stolen today. It brought me down a little, but fuck those bastards, You're still going to be in this dump next year. HA fucking HA.

Anyway, if your wallet had been stolen and you had just been accepted into graduate school, what would you do? Here's what I did. I went and saw a bunch of male Australian strippers. Fuck yeah baby. Feb can not come soon enough. It was great. I was even pulled on stage and given a lap dance. I've never had a lap dance before. It was spectacular. I totally see what guys dig in the whole experience. And I came to a conclusion, one that I think every man in the world came to many years ago. I wasn't drinking that much during the stripping, so, i think, if everyone just walked around naked all the time, I believe, that alcoholism would cease to exist. Seriously.

I should point out right now, that most of the foreigners in China aren't that good looking. In fact, I think my standards have dropped by default. Excluding myself of course. Seriously, not to say that everyone else in the world is better looking than Chinese men, because they are, I'm not being specifically racist, I'm saying every asian outside of China is better looking than they are here, but I'm being deprived here. I love strippers.

Anyway, the best part, was after the show, the strippers bought US drinks. It was incredible. They were all from Melbourne, and built like an intricately planned sculptures, in a way that no Chinese man could ever be built. It's all the dumplings. And for a moment, when I was leaving the bar, I decided I loved everything in Shanghai. Especially my stolen wallet and sunglasses. You fucking bastards.

I'm out of here.

Au - fucking - stralia baby!!!!