too much tImE

Sorry, I have a lot of time on my hands to surf through various websites. I came across this forum posting and found it interesting and funny. Especially the last post (well the last one I'm sharing on my site.):

Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 04:40 AM


Post subject: What is wrong with us?

I want to share with you guys about an article written by Mr. Cam MacMurchy, a Canadian journalist working in Beijing. See the link
http://cn.news.yahoo.com/050818/1350/2egpg.html
Sorry, it is translated into Chinese. I couldn¡¯t find the English Version. Take this chance to brush your Chinese skill.

In a nutshell, he says he doesn¡¯t understand Chinese motivation or attitude towards love. Based on his experience with Chinese girls, He found out most of Chinese are so craving for love. Chinese girls want the confirmation of love only after a few dates. Most of Chinese girls he knows never talk about their boyfriends. For him, Love is a gradually evolved process. You can¡¯t find love just after a few dates.

I couldn¡¯t agree with Cam MacMurchy more. I have been thinking this question for a while. What is the problem with us, the Chinese girls? Why we so craving for love? Why we don¡¯t know how to love?

For those young Chinese women between 25 and 35, we grew up in a culture that nobody talked about love. Not only the love for relationship, also about the simple love for another human being. We didn¡¯t prepare ourselves to face the harsh reality of relationship. There was no book/nobody guide us go through the turbulence early adulthood. The only thing we were taught in high school was studying to be competitive to get into the college. The only thing we were taught in college was studying to be competitive to get a good job. After we got out of college, some Chinese people pocket started to fill of money. They started to have mistresses. Many of young girls preferred to be somebody¡¯s mistress instead of having a job. Those smart and pretty ones all hitched on Mr. Money. I had the strong desire for the material things just like everyone else, but the first job out of college only paid 800rmb, not enough to buy a decent dress. I didn¡¯t know what to do. I was trapped in a dark tunnel. I felt I need the love to get me out.

Our parents couldn¡¯t help at all. They grew up during the Chairman Mao era. The only one they were allowed to love was Mr. Chairman Mao. If you loved somebody more than Chairman Mao, you were a bad person. My mother told they had to read the little Redbook during their wedding saying that Chairman Mao was her ultimate love. I don't blame them. They screwed up more then we do.

Cam MacMurchy is right. Somehow we just want to be in the mood of feeling love even we don¡¯t know we love or not. After many years struggling, I realized that I need a power to center myself, the power is not the love from somebody else, it is the power which resides inside myself.



  Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 10:39 AM


Maybe Chinese girls, raised under parents such as you describe, are just too intense. They need to relax, spread their wings, and enjoy the freedom that life now offers them .. instead of having one-track minds about love and marriage. The quickest way to scare off a (western) guy is too expect too much, too soon .. (commitment, that is).



  Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 11:32 AM

I'm not Chinese, but I can see how it can be a problem. I've dated a Chinese man, and he was so surprised at how a western woman (such as myself:) Can be so expressive. I didn't get it back then why he found it so intriguing, but I'm beginning to understand.

China has come out of thousands of years of trying to build itself up. Maybe there wasn't time for Romantic Love? Perhaps now is the time:) I know you all have those romantic songs on the radio, people are yearning for love and to be loved.


  Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 04:39 PM


half nonsense and half truth



  Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 06:37 PM


Gradually people are evolving, like 5 years ago never saw someone hugging in public, now see it all the time so, there's hope


  Posted: Aug 19, 2005 - 11:58 PM


like apes


...and no, I didn't write that last post...