Lemon Crème Cookie Syndrome

Yet another long one...

When I was in Beijing in May I met with a couple friends of mine who had been in the country for a while and were leaving in June. One of them said to me, "I hate everyone in this country right now, even you."

I laughed at the time, but now I really know where he's coming from.

In my last post I had a link to the amazon page with Jung Chang's new book. At the bottom it has the customer reviews. There are a lot of them. Probably as many as every other book on China Amazon has to offer. Very opinionated and windy. These are the people I have to deal with.

They are commonly referred to as the 'China Nerd'. I've resorted to calling them 'China Losers'. I probably have to include myself in this group, although people who have been here longer and put more into China would guffaw at my Chinese skills and limited research into the country. I may be labeled as a 'China Wannabe'. Really, all I want is to be a nothing at all China. Maybe a china vet.

Anyway, that's not everyone in China, just the group of scholars who put forth a lot of effort and stay here the longest. I think I mentioned in an earlier blog that these are mostly egotistical males.

So, I'll try to give a break down of the different groups of expats that come to the PRC.
1. Students
2. 20 Somethings
3. Accomplished Business Execs
4. Etc.

1. Students come here for a semester or a year or to study in a Chinese university. Sometimes I think they're permanently stuck in Stage 3. They are. They speak a lot of Chinglish. They can see why China is annoying but since they're students they feel this doesn't include them. As typical undergrads they all think that when they graduate they can return to China and get the kick ass job and master the economy and the language and everything about it. They normally stick to their own little student group. You see them out at bars, but they only talk to each other. I used to hang out with some students. It was painful for a number of reasons but they returned home to graduate.
I friend of mine the other day made the accurate comment of, "I can't even talk to undergrads anymore. I just have to walk away." It's true. You're all delusional. I used to be one, I know.

2. 20-Somethings can be broken into sub-categories.
a. English Teachers
b. Non-English Teachers
c. People with good jobs
d. Post-graduates

a. I think English teachers can further be broken down into 2 more categories: Those that come over just to teach and those that teach while looking for 'something better'.
I'm probably in the second category. I did come over here to teach, but with the intention of finding 'something better.' And I did, I'm going to leave the country.
Ok, so the ones that come over here to teach come because they heard that China was interesting. They like Chinese food. Fengshui and all seem kind of fun and trendy. They either get here and hate and go home after their year, or stay and move into the 'looking for something better' group.
The group that is 'looking for something better' teach because it makes good money and you work very few hours. This way you can live in China comfortably while having a lot of free time to pursue your other interests. 'Something better' could be anything. The best option is a job in a foreign firm getting paid in foreign money, but that rarely happens to people who are looking for a job from inside China. What most likely comes up is a sales, design, or marketing position which brings me to
b. Non-English Teachers. These people make as much as the English teachers if not less. They are usually in graphic and web design, sales, or some kind of random marketing position. They don't get paid very well and work long hours but are 'better' than English teachers b/c they aren't teaching English. Teaching English in China is the expat equivalent to waitressing. Something that anyone can do and you try not to mention. I've actually only been a waitress once and I was fired. Supposedly I had an 'attitude'.
c. 20-somethings with good jobs. These people are very lucky. They make Western wages and work in foreign firms. They have really good jobs in advertising or consulting or something along those lines. They work long hours and travel a lot. They're here for the long haul b/c when they're not working, they live like royalty. The only real problem they have to face is that they're still in China. ha. But that doesn't matter because they're rich and save everything they earn and live well. Most of these people get their jobs from abroad and are brought into China. A special few get hired in China. Very, very lucky.
d. Postgrads. They come over to do research. They're on research grants so live well. Kind of like c, but still with the poor student attitude. They're straight on the course for writing an Amazon book review.

A few notes about the 20-somethings in general. We're all pretty well educated and well traveled. Everyone has at least a bachelor’s degree, usually from a good school. We all had a lot of potential at one point. Those in c still do. Those in a and b are looking for a way to bring back the glory days. There are a lot of us and we continue to grow in number. I'm currently reviewing resumes for a replacement for myself when I leave. It's actually pretty depressing going over 60 resumes that are all exactly like your own.

3. Accomplished Business Executives
The older group c. They come over with their families if they have them. They live in ridiculous apartments, have drivers, eat at the nicest restaurants, and very rarely see anything of 'real' China. They stay a couple years and move on. Always brought over from abroad on some amazing package. Pay for nothing and save every penny of their 6-figure salary.
The jokes on you. Your kids are all going to grow up fucked up in American school.
There are also many of these people. I rarely run into them though b/c only the dirty old men hit up the bars. Most of them have their divers take them home to their families every night.

4. Etc.
So these people are usually older. The come over to China to try and relive some of the hippie days or to get married, or to just try to have an experience. They either don't know Chinese at all and don't plan on learning because they're 'too old for that stuff' or they have studied a little. A lot of them teach. Some write. Some just bum around on their savings.
I met a 50 something New Zealand women on a bus in Guilin. She was the only foreigner teaching in a small town. Didn't know a word of Chinese. She spent a lot of time knitting.
Another women I taught a class with once. She was from Germany and had been over here about a year and a half. She knew minimal Chinese. Anyway, we were on the bus going home and talking about China. Her comment was, "I think the Chinese can be a bit.... strange sometimes." I kind of smiled and replied, "Yeah, they're probably the hardest part about living here."

This brings me to the different types of ‘China Snobs’. Somebody else wrote a good blog about this that can be found here. I don't think I’m any of the 4 main snobs he pointed out. But if you read the comments I'm probably an "I'm over China snob” or a “I feel like I’ve put enough time and effort into China to really know what this country is all about and the rest of you are all kidding yourselves snob”. But I’m kind of that way about everything.

So anyway, that's probably a rough generalization of foreigners in China. I haven't spoken much about ABC's (American Born Chinese). They're mostly in the 20-something group and come over here because it's their 'roots' and all. Really it should be FBC (Foreign Born Chinese) but for some reason the Americans stick out the most and are more adamant about being 'in China'.

Another thing I've noticed. Unless you're a FBC, most of the foreigners here are not from cities with established Chinatowns. And really, that makes a lot of sense.

So why Lemon Crème Cookie syndrome? Well for people who are 'white on the outside, yellow on the inside' the usual saying is an inside-out twinkie or an egg. I think both are those are lame. I've always liked the name Oreo Cookie Syndrome, so I guess I'm stealing from the black people.

On a final note, I really do like a lot of people in China. Most of my good friends have some connection to China and I generally get along with most of the people here. We're all just a farce of ourselves.

This blog has gone on way too long.