just relaxin'

"So I am constantly torn between extreme emotions. It is a place that is under my skin. If I don't go back for a long time I miss it and become restless. But it's not a place to relax."

Anyone who has spent any amount of time in China feels this way. It's a cult and somehow I've been sucked into it. I don't know when I was fully dragged into China, but when I read Wild Swans at 15 I was already hooked. So of course I'll probably read this Mao book. And I've read about Mao. I know about Mao. He's not a good guy, but he's the only thing close to a God the Chinese will ever have, and that should say a lot.

When my Mom and I were up in Beijing I overheard a conversation of some Americans speaking to a Chinese guy at the table next to us.
"I'm sorry for my ignorance, but is Mao still in charge?"
I wanted to throw my drink at her and yell at her for being such a Moron. We should exile these people to an island somewhere. They can afford a five star vacation in China but won't take the time to read a little history (or current events) before they get here. There is just so much wrong with that question I just don't even know where to begin.

"...is Mao still in charge?..." What a fucking idiot.

I am part of a cult.