human nature.

I would like to give you a quote from Uncle Bunny's Big Book of Stories. One of my Korean kids is reading from this:

"That is called growing up" I said. "Some of us change a lot, the way you did. Some of us just become a different size. I used to be a little bunny. Now I'm just bigger.
"Growing up is fun, Uncle Bunny," Angel said. "I'm glad I learned to fly."


Angel is a butterfly by the way.

Wow, they tell us from an early age that we're just going to become a different size. And yet we aspire.

Remember when we were kids and we used to pull our eyes into slants and say "me Chinese" and everyone laughed until we realized it may be racist. Well, my Korean kids were doing that today. It's not racism, it's just part of human nature.

I learned a lot in Kindergarten

I'm not sure how wide spread this was in the news but John Walton died in a plane crash the other day.

This actually managed to coincide with a class I'm doing tomorrow on an article entitled "WalMart - Strategies for Market Dominance". Not the Koreans but this other guy I give private lessons to. I promise you I didn't plan it that way, it just worked out like that.

My student also wants me to give him a 10 minute run down on the issues in America and Americans and Bush. I got online to try to find some non-biased information on that subject but ran across this website instead:

http://home.capecod.net/~tpanitz/ejoke/j10.html

I can't really talk about this subject without bringing my own opinions into the matter, but I've already told him that.

In our last class we talked about the differences between Chinese and Western employees. How the Chinese always need one strong leader to lead them. We were studying an article released by BAH on the Chinese organizational DNA in corporations. How companies run better in China with one strong leader, but once that leader leaves or dies they all fall apart. The guy I teach agreed with that completely.

He then asked me about the corporate make up in America and I started telling him about teamwork and stuff. When he asked me about what defines co-operation I started talking about listening to others opinions, not rejecting other ideas, working together for a final solution, and all that jazz.

He replied that co-operation could never exist in China. The Chinese don't listen to each others opinions, they reject other peoples ideas right away, and they never work together. And he was born and raised in China. They don't even like themselves.

His final question was how we could manage co-operation in the west. I told him we were raised to work together in groups, share our toys when we were young, say please and thank you, not cut in line, etc, etc.

He couldn't believe it.

I'm not making any of this up.

So. Onto WalMart and Christian fundamentalists tomorrow. Can't wait.

ars

A much better Shanghai blog than mine:



I think I have some kind of acute respiratory syndrome. I'm all stuffy and coughing. It sucks. So I've been trying to stay in and get better. And it's been really hot here. I hate being sick in the summer. It's shit.

alive? again

This city is fucking fabulous.

I bet you all thought I was dead. And really, even I'm a little suprised I'm still alive. I keep looking down and expecting to see my body bleeding profusely or have a limb missing, but I seem okay. It was a bit of a crazy week. It was just mad. I didn't think I had that kind of blind stupidity left in me but apparantly it's alive and well.

A good friend of mine was in for the week so we went all out. I hadn't seen her in about a year and a half. And since she doesn't know how to access this blog, can't because she's in China, and doesn't actually know what a blog is, we can talk about her. So here's a secret note: I sent out an email to some people last week some time and for the picture of the 'dude' look at the top of this blog.

Maybe that note wasn't so secret.

I went to a beach bbq last sunday (like a week and a half ago.) It was pretty good. It wasn't so much a beach as a strip of sand near the airport near a swamp. I got sunburned. I was at a gay bar Friday night/Saturday morning. Chinese queens are bitches. I think there were a lot of tequila shots throughout the week. I hate tequila. And I know that too.

The Chinese have just become annoying props in my life. I don't speak Chinese unless I'm telling a cab driver where to go. Whenever I go out I'm surrounded by 'foreigners'. I even teach Koreans. It's brilliant.

Let's see what else...

A couple of months ago I told a good friend of mine that every time I think I've lost all my innocence something happens to remind me I had a little left. I don't know if I feel that way any more.

Shanghai baby. Shanghai.

hello

"The internet has profited many people, but it also has brought many problems, such as sex, violence, feudal superstitions and other harmful information that has seriously poisoned people's spirits."

I actually agree with this. I think my spirit has been poisoned by the internet. But I guess there's no way of testing this since I've been online since I was ten years old.

Here's one for you: I don't go 'in chat rooms', or haven't since I was like 14 years old. But the only time I was ever propositioned for sex online was when I was 12. And I'm guessing my little friend on the other side wasn't. Thank you AOL.

There's this guy on my street who yells "Hello" at every foreigner who passes. He will actually stop what he's doing and run across the street, or down the block to say it. I've never replied but he keeps saying it to me every time I walk down my street. I've talked to other whities in my building and they say he get's them too. Today I saw him almost get hit by a car trying to run up to a group of four walking down the street.

I like to think he has a mental disorder, but sadly I don't think he does. This is Shanghai and I live in a pretty foreign area. The luxury of seeing us has worn off everyone else, I don't understand why this guy is still so fascinated. Maybe I'll stop and have a conversation with him some day. Probably not.

the force

Darth Vader was my favorite superhero growing up. He was actually probably tied with Superman. And Bazooka from GI Joe.

Anyway, I was having a conversation about the new Star Wars today. This guy was telling me about how it shows how Anakin switches over to the dark side. I said how I would join the dark side if given the chance. Everyone laughed but I was totally serious. I've tried several times but something keeps holding me back...

So as I was walking home I stopped to flip through some pirated dvds being sold on the side of the street. As I was going through the piles of Korean soft-core porn I caught a glimps of Star Wars III, so I bought it. So all you people bragging about being the first to watch Star Wars in the theaters, well fuck you, I own it.

It was okay. I actually never saw the second Star Wars but I picked up on the plot pretty quickly. I don't like Luke even as a baby. And the Emperor pisses me off too. If I were on the dark side I'd run it the right way. Darth Vader is still my hero. Except in that moment of weakness when he saves his son. Loser.

I'm not sure about the whole political aspect. Is John Kerry Obi Wan? Or Yoda? And if Anakin is supposed to be bushie where's the lesson there? That in twenty years when Jenna tries to take him over he'll all of the sudden turn good? That's not a good story. And anyway, I always figured Lucas as a closet Republican. Or at least someone with a strong uniform fetish.

I went to bed at 5 am this morning and woke up at noon when my Ayi came to clean. I'm a little tired. I joined a gym and have to wake up and work out tomorrow. I'm excited. I got a free facial for signing up.

newly narcissistic nicole

This city is spectacular. I've had at least one cheese product a day for the past week.

So what am I doing here? Well I'm currently teaching Korean students and a couple of other private tutor sessions. Hopefully temporarily. Until I take over the world. It's in the works. I have to say Koreans are significantly more intelligent than the Chinese. One of my 12 year old students on his peer Tom:

"The last teacher called him 'Tiny Tom'. He used the alliteration."

I don't think I could say that when I was 12. Fuck, I'm not entirely sure what it means now.

Anyway, I don't know what I'm talking about right now. I've been drinking scotch and snacking on a baguette with balsamic vinegar and olive oil all night.

Did I tell you I love this city?

I mean, of course it's still a little bit China. Like sometimes you're walking home and you have to walk through a wet spot on the street because it's unavoidable. And as you're walking through it it's a bit slippery and squishy under your feet, and you're hoping it's not what you think it is, but know that it probably is. Then you just have to turn up your iPod, try not to breathe, and think of the cheese sandwhich that's waiting for you back at home.

I've put up pics of my new place. My camera doesn't do it justice but my room is pretty nice and big. It's about half the size of my entire apartment in Lin'an. And I have hot water all the time. And an Ayi that comes twice a week. I don't even have to do my own laundry. Or clean at all.

This city is great.